Wash a plate, for crying out loud.

I get it, I really do. Cookouts, picnics, that sort of thing... you don't want plates around. I don't agree, but I get it. I would rather see people pick up bamboo plates or palm leaf plates or even plates from the thrift store to use outdoors. But, that aside, what REALLY gets to me, and no excuses here AT ALL, is the use of paper plates IN THE HOME. Chinet ad: "Chinet Casuals. Every day of the week is the perfect day to use them."

REALLY??? What gives with this??? I saw an ad for Dixie Ultra (Georgia-Pacific, haven't picked on them yet) paper plates, and yeah OK for the shots around the BBQ, but in the home? In the kitchen? At the TABLE??? Most of the examples of usage in the commercial were IN the home, AT the dining room table. No. No no no no no no no. No. There is NO reason to use paper plates or Styrofoam plates or toss-away plastic plates in the home. EVER.

Bring on the excuses...
"Kids." Um... more reason to NOT use disposable plates. You know, because of saving the planet for them and such. Afraid they'll break real plates? OK... so? Plates break. Not valid. No time to wash real plates? NOPE. You made the kids, you make the time to steward the planet for them. Anyone who doesn't "have time" to wash plates should not have taken the time to have kids. Kids take time. Deal with it.

"Guests." Bridal shower, party, etc? Like the Chinet brand "Cut Crystal - sophisticated disposable tableware" (their words, not mine). Nope. Command more respect by figuring out how to have a gathering without 50 bags of trash, and show people how it's done. I really don't care if your plates and silver all match. Or again, look into bamboo or palm. Something, anything reusable. Don't want to wash after the grand party? Frickin' build that time into the planning of the party, and GET HELP from someone else doing the planning with you.

"Compostable/recyclable/biodegradable." Nope, nope and nope. I don't believe enough people out there actually compost to make that a viable excuse. If you do, YOU get a pass. And ONLY you. Have at. My hat tips to you. Everyone else, no. Recycling? There's already enough stuff out there that goes in the bins but doesn't actually get recycled. No need to add to it. Biodegrading plates? Nice try, but we all know that when something hits a landfill, it gets covered and never sees enough light or air again to actually biodegrade effectively, if at all. So no.

"Waste of water to wash dishes." NOPE. It takes more water to create the throw-aways than your washing would ever take. Especially if you are being water-conscious in your washing techniques.

Anything else? No? OK... dear readers... I know YOU guys avoid these things, and now you are equipped with all the counter-points you need for everyone else. Sorry. I know you'll stop getting invitations to friends' and neighbors' gatherings. that's OK - you didn't really like them anyway. And that's one less potluck invite to have to lie your way out of. We the Living can have our own wonderful gatherings and show these people how it's done! No paper/plastic/Styrofoam, no 2-liter plastic bottles (cans and glass only!), no paper napkins... let's start a picnic revolution!

Careful, though. You could end up like me. I just don't go anywhere. Hahahhahahaa....