Now They're Just Trying to Piss Me Off

It seriously is like we're not even trying anymore. Unless the trying that we are doing is the trying to make my head explode. It's as if we have no problem whatsoever with plastic on this planet. None. Like we aren't saying anything over here about the 5 Gyres, like Dr. Marcus Eriksen isn't out there beating a drum about it. (Don't know him? Here: http://www.marcuseriksen.com/ ) It's as if we've given up completely and just announced we'll go ahead and trash the planet instead of trying to move to being better stewards of this Earth, because there is really no going back.

What now, GGW? you say with a sigh. Just this:

I almost have nothing more to say. Almost. It's from our good friends over there at Nestle, of course. Because you know how much they care about the environment. Darn it, I can't even eat one of my favorite candy bars anymore because it's made by Them. But I digress.

3 fluid ounces so as to be attractive to frequent flyers, I suppose. Easy to just toss in your purse or laptop bag. Convenient.

Look, I don't care that you are tossing it in the recycling bin. That means nothing. Nothing. The water of this planet is filled with plastic. Islands where man has never set foot are found to be covered with plastic. Birds who live their lives at sea are found with stomachs full of plastic. When is it enough? When do we get a clue? When do we get the hint? When do we stop?

Obviously  not anytime soon, because every day all I see are more new stupid products like this one coming out for purchase. We do not need these things. We need a healthy environment. The two are not compatible.

Just. Stop.

Doggie-Bag Dilemma

We eat out. It happens. Portions are very generous these days. Remember back in the '80s when it was all the rage to have stupidly tiny portions for insane prices? That sure went away. I can rarely finish my meal when I go out to eat. If it's a sandwich then I ask for a piece of foil rather than a container which is inevitably and will for some future time in my area be Styrofoam.

That leaves the other times when I have something slightly messier. You'd think that I - of all people - could remember to bring something from home to take my food home, instead of using that offensive piece of garbage they bring out to me.  Why can't I remember this one simple thing? 

Styrofoam is getting banned in a lot of towns and will be in more to come. I should not be waiting for that. Tossing them in the recycling bin isn't a solution. Not using them in the first place is. It's mind-blowing to me to think how much garbage we would save if everyone refused this stuff for just a week. But we don't even think about it. I think about it and still forget when it comes down to it. Would restaurants frown upon the practice of our bringing our own containers? I get weird reactions when I ask for foil, but they come around quickly enough. We can point out that by bringing our own containers, we are saving them money.

It's not like I'm talking about bringing them to a buffet. But for a meal for which we have paid, this shouldn't be questionable at all. Is it inconvenient? Probably to those who refuse to bring reusable bags to the grocery store. If you take food home you will be carrying a bag anyway. Why not carry one in? 

And while on that point, you can refuse that plastic bag they give you, as well. If it's something that's going to spill, either be careful or make sure you have something in the car for such an occurrence. It's not difficult, once you get in the habit. 

Let's all start this habit. We'll save a ton of trash. Literally. I promise, next time I go out, to friggin' remember this at last! Embarrassing? Hell no! What's embarrassing about trying to save this place for the next generation? We can at least try. 

Nutella and No

This really isn't OK.

Nope. 

But it's Nutella! And it's so good and yummy and delicious! Nutella ... and breadsticks! For convenient dipping!

This plastic-sheathed product is so unnecessary that I can't even believe anyone would be suckered into buying it. There is next to no point for it. I take that back - there is no point for it. If I see someone eating from one of these I am seriously going to smack it out of their hands. I don't care how delicious Nutella is, there is no reason for this kind of absurd plastic waste. No reusing or repurposing is worth this package. None. No. Not. Never. 

They are just being introduced over here in the US. While looking for images, I discovered there is one with a drink on the other side, making it twice as big. With a straw. It's a lemon drink from what I could tell. Speechless. 

I did my share of those plastic things with the fake cheese product and the crackers when I was little. You remember - that bright red little cheese spreader thing? I shudder to think how many of those are still out there from our misspent youth. Are we learning nothing? Are we progressing at all? Are we moving forward? 

It would seem not. 

Short Quick Plastic-Saving Tip

Pardon me while I get the smell of bleach out of my nose. I hate bleach and I try to avoid using it, but one bottle a year isn't really that much, I suppose, considering.

But I digress. In between my bleach-fest in the bathroom, I revitalized my vinyl shower curtain instead of throwing its nasty-ass away and getting a new one. It's so funny how we just discard those and get new ones when they get gross. Which they do. Often. Since I really can't stand the smell of bleach and bleach-based mildew cleaning products, my shower curtain suffers.

You don't have to replace them all the time. That's a lot of plastic waste. Just toss it in the washing machine. This can be done multiple times with the same curtain before it really just wears out. Toss it in on gentle cycle with white vinegar. That will also be great to ... er ... well, for lack of a better term, douche your washing machine too. It'll come out a little wrinkly but nice and clean and ready to go.

It doesn't matter that they are cheap to replace. It isn't a big deal if they don't look as crisp right afterwards. What matters is it's clean and functional and you didn't toss something.

These aren't getting recycled, no one reuses them, they just go. Let's have them go a little less frequently. And before someone blathers that it's a waste of water, think about the waste of resources that went into making it from scratch, and shut up.

Hugs!!!!

And if you thought that was bad ...

Check these lovely items.

Because condiments don't already come in plastic squeeze bottles, you definitely need another plastic squeeze thing to put them in. Tell me how many times this gets used before it gets tossed or just flat-out breaks. Waste of plastic. Or, one kid one time aims it at a sibling. Gone. Tossed. Then it becomes one more piece of trash in the world and a waste of the resources used to create it. Clever? No. Stupid and wasteful.

*****

I can see the argument for this one. Because of course we all need our sugar-laden, high-fructose corns syrup chemical crap-fest of juice in the plastic gallon jugs. And no, kids don't need this. I can't fathom taking up room in the fridge with this thing> And how long before it breaks? Where would anyone store it when it's not in use? Yeah, this thing is beyond ridiculous and should never be purchased. It should not have been manufactured, actually. I see a future of animals getting caught in it and little else. 

******

I'm kind of speechless about this one. I'll just let it fester in your head. Then I'll thank you to smack me stupid so I don't have to think about it anymore. 

*****

And finally, this gem. Why??? Because there is some novelty to dipping toast in ... um ... what? Nutella? It's not even dishwasher safe, as I discovered by reading about it. Of course I had to stop because the glowing praises in the comment sections gave me pre-aneurysms. (Yes. That's a thing. I get them a lot.) 

From the Files of the Utterly Ridiculous

Surfing the 'net one day, I felt the need to look at one of those "Cool Things" you-didn't-know-you-needed can't-live-without how-did-we-survive-without or what's-its-nuts. I don't know specifically. Too many of them. Gadgets. OMG moments where you think yes I must have that!!! Or not.

Some of those things are good and just plain cool. Most of them are things we have lived without because we really do not need them. At all. And yes we can live without them. For instance, I bring you in all its I-need-that-now glory ... the One-Click Butter Cutter.

I guess they'll use the butter knife right there to stir the tea?

Back in the Olden Days, when we were less enlightened, used to be a simple butter knife handled this task just fine and dandy. I mean, hello, it has butter right in its name. Plus, looking at this contraption, I am thinking you still need the butter knife anyway to spread the butter. So you can't argue you are saving a utensil from being washed. So let's look into why I must have this piece of plastic crap. From their site:

- Holds and slices Butter with a squeeze
- Safe for children to use! Slices can be cut and dispensed with one or two hands
- Uses less refrigerator shelf space
- Keeps Butter Clean
- Keeps Hands Clean
- Seldom Needs Washing
- Easily cleaned in a dishwasher or in warm water
- Cut slices individually as wanted or cut an entire stick of butter into slices in less than one minute!
- Tastefully replaces the ever-greasy butter dish

Well I'm sold! Wait. No I am not. Safe for children? Because a butter knife is so sharp? I can just see a child getting their hands on one of theses - there would be butter slices all over the table. Perhaps if your child is too delicate to operate a butter knife, they shouldn't be in charge of buttering their own toast anyway. Again, you still have to use the knife unless you are going to sit there until the cold pat maybe melts into part of the rest of the toast. Keeps hands clean? Oh, yeah, I hate when I have to actually hold the butter, it's so messy. Because that happens. Not. I can cut an entire stick in less than one minute? Well now there's something, because I swear it took me an hour to cut that last stick I had. Sign me up! How about that ever-greasy butter dish. Um, why? Don't you ever wash it? I think a pretty ceramic butter dish is worlds more tasteful than cheap plastic, but that's just me.

The site has the following page (this is priceless):

Do you need a Butter Cutter? Of course not.

It’s pure convenience and pleasure. That’s why they get such good reviews by people who use them. It’s like having a clothes dryer or hanging your clothes on a Clothes line. You don’t need a clothes dryer but it’s a convenience that people enjoy and use often even though they cost hundreds of dollars and electricity to use! The Butter Cutters don’t cost hundreds of dollars or require any electricity to use! They do give pleasure and convenience every day they are used. This is why I'm often thanked for having invented them.

"Pure convenience." That screams to me as the number 1 reason to not buy this. Comparing this plastic trifle with a clothes dryer seems a wee bit of a stretch, but that might just be me. They give pleasure? If this is a pleasure-giving device, then some people have really pathetic lives. Just sayin'.

Yes, I overdid it with the dashes here. Get over it.

Olive You Too

So I get a lot of eco-articles and posts in my life, naturally. Most of them I know, others surprise me a little. Just when I think I've thought about it, something comes up that makes me say, "Damn!" This was one of them.

Do you use olive oil? I use olive oil. It's my go-to for cooking. Except when the spice in question - like turmeric - calls for sauteing in a higher fat which means butter yum yum - it's always olive oil I reach for, grab, buy, have on hand. Imagine my surprise to learn that the manufacture of olive oil is not the most Earth-friendly thing out there.

From http://www.ecomena.org/olive-oil-wastes/: Currently, there are two processes that are used for the extraction of olive oil, the three-phase and the two-phase. Both systems generate large amounts of byproducts.  The two byproducts  produced by the three-phase system are a solid residue known as olive press cake (OPC) and large amounts of aqueous liquid known as olive-mill wastewater (OMW).  The three-phase process usually yields 20% olive oil, 30% OPC waste, and 50% OMW.  This equates to 80% more waste being produced than actual product.  

Who'd have thought? I didn't. By-product and waste from a natural product should be natural, right? Nope.

Regardless of system used, the effluents produced from olive oil production exhibit highly phytotoxic and antimicrobial properties, mainly due to phenols.  Phenols are a poisonous caustic crystalline compound.  These effluents unless disposed of properly can result in serious environmental damage.  Troublingly, there is no general policy for disposal of this waste in the olive oil producing nations around the world.  This results in inconsistent monitoring and non-uniform application of guidelines across these regions. 

I'm stymied.

I like olive oil because it's good ad yummy and generally found in glass bottles, not plastic. What's a witch to do? Stop using it? We can't stop using everything.

This is where I bring up a point that is so completely unpopular in pretty much all circles, even the environmental groups: population. There are just too many of us using too much stuff. I'm very eco-aware, yet things like this come up. Another one: Greek yogurt - yum - horrible for the environment. That I can avoid. I did anyway because of the stupid plastic cups it comes in. But olive oil? I don't use a lot. I won't stop. Sometimes, it's really just not me. It's all of us. The answer to problems like this isn't that we need to be better - which we do, we really really do - but that we need to STOP. We're cruising quickly and way too easily to 8 billion, and we just cannot handle that. We can't. Because of things like this. Because we use and use and we have nowhere to put the other stuff. This article talks about finding ways to deal with this waste-product. We keep looking for Band-aids and cures for the symptoms but we never address the disease.

Us. We are the disease. Let's address that.

I can see the point, but....

... mini margaritas do NOT need to be in plastic bottles.

On top of it all, these are ridiculously tiny. So you drink a lot of them in your quest to get shitfaced.

And so of course it's safer to have plastic instead of glass because by the time you have had 15 of these, they start falling to the ground. If they were glass, they would break. So naturally you need plastic.

These are one of those things that if I ever see anyone drinking them, it will be hard for me to resist slapping the damn thing out of their hand.

Every other fun froofy beverage has the self-respect to come in a glass bottle. Why oh why the plastic here? Because they are better for tailgating? There is NO REASON for this.

People who bring these to your home, picnic, or event need to be sent away immediately. People who buy these for their home enjoyment need to be stopped from adding to the gene pool. Immediately.

Tell me that after a 4-pack of theses, that the said consumer is interested in making sure the bottles are going into the recycling.

"But what am I supposed to drink at places where I can't bring glass bottles?"

You. You who just said that. Out of the gene pool. We don't need you. And take your red Solo cup with you. I can just see that, too - this little bottle suddenly isn't cold enough, so they pour it FROM this plastic into one of those horrors. At that point, I really do just give up.

I'M BAAACK! Because plastic nonsense never left!

Well, I tried to go away. I really did.

You may have seen these in the grocery store. They hang in random areas for your impulse-buying pleasure.

Seems harmless enough. Ice cream is messy. And OOOO they are BPA-free! NOTHING TO SEE HERE, FOLKS! THERE IS NO BPA! IT'S ALL GOOD! 

Here's a description of a similar product, just so we're clear on the awesomeness of this product: 

Keeps kids' clothes clean by catching the sticky drips from ice cream cones or any frozen treat on a stick. Three products in one: One end holds frozen treats on a stick. Flip the Dripstik over and the other end holds ice cream cones in almost any size and variety. Also makes frozen Popsicle treats! Fill the reservoir with juice, insert the stick attachment, freeze then enjoy! Saves parents time from cleaning up colorful puddles from forgotten desserts. Makes an easy birthday party favor! Serve ice cream without stressing about guests making a mess, then simply send the Dripstik home with them. Perfect for road trips. Indulge your children with stops at ice cream shacks without worrying about the upholstery. Let them get the cone instead of a cup and spoon. Helps disabled or elderly persons, letting them enjoy ice cream with self-sufficiency. Durable, soft plastic is long-lasting and easy-care -- simply pop into the dishwasher! Available in assorted fun kid colors. Made in the USA by a mother of five!

Well there ya go. Totally brilliant, right??? 

Kids are messy. Period. We all know that. We were messy when we were kids. Everyone survived. We dealt with it. Look, I am not completely heartless - I have an aunt that had a stroke and has no use of her left arm, and when we take her for ice cream, it's messy. But you know what? We don't care. We laugh, she laughs, it cleans up. We don't need to introduce plastic crap into the environment just because ice cream is sticky. Because you know what? An ocean without plastic is necessary. We don't have that, but it's necessary. What's not necessary is this thing. This novelty item. This thing that might be used a dozen times, or once, or a hundred, but will ultimately just get thrown away. Into the world. Where it will live forever. And ever and ever. Just so some parent didn't have to worry about her upholstery or wash an extra shirt. Buy a bunch and send them home with all the other kids. So that they can get thrown away even faster. By even more people. And by the way, "Made in the USA by a mother of five" is not a selling point to me. I also don't believe it, it strikes me as misleading. 1) maybe if you didn't have FIVE kids you could handle a little mess here and there instead of polluting the world for the rest of us and 2) is she making these all by hand in the USA? Or does she live in the USA and she thought it up and now they are made in China? What's the deal, here? I need the truth. I can handle the truth. You know what isn't plastic? A fabric bib. A towel. A napkin, for cryin' out loud. Drape something over if you are so concerned about everything. 

Why you gotta pollute the world for the rest of us because you had kids knowing they were messy but then don't want to deal with the mess? Because now I have to deal with your mess. How is that right? Why must the rest of us pay for your convenience?

It's too bad we don't actually stop and think about that. Maybe we can start. Maybe before it's too late. Except that it probably already is. So you have non-sticky kids, but we're killing ourselves with plastic and chemicals and additives. 

But hey! Who cares? My car seats are ice-cream free and THAT is all that matters!

How Often Does This Go Unnoticed?

Happened to catch this one in the news. But I'm willing to bet things like this happen all the time, we just don't hear about it.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/03/28/peanut-butter-landfill/7004653/ Nearly a million jars of peanut butter are being dumped at a New Mexico landfill to expedite the sale of a bankrupt peanut-processing plant that was at the heart of a 2012 salmonella outbreak and nationwide recall.

That's a whole lot of plastic in the ground. Unless you think they will scoop it out and re-use the jars. Yeah, that happens.

randomly selected image

A million jars. The article doesn't make it entirely clear why they could not be donated, as they were seen as fit for sale. We would rather toss them into a gaping hole in the Earth and cover them with dirt than donate them to a prison. I can only hope people will sneak out and dig some up.

A million jars. So much for recycling. Some future civilization will unEarth this trove and come up with some interesting theories. Maybe we should include a note, explaining our massive screw-up.

A million jars. I'm still trying to fathom.


Yeah, no. I can't. All I can come up with is that this is far from an isolated incident.

What do I suggest?

Nothing. I got nuthin'. I just had to share. This is what we do. THIS is humanity.

That's all. Gather your own rosebuds on that one.

Lies

This is from a mailer.

Look at it closely. It has lots of information right there.

You've seen them. You've gotten them. They are bubble mailers that are quite common. You know, the bubble stuff is fused to the plastic on the inside, providing nice protection for that book you mail that doesn't really need that kind of protection anyway.

Look at it again. It must be recyclable; after all, there's the symbol right there. And it's got those numbers there too. That means we toss it in the bin and it's all better.

To the casual recycler, this is all well and good. But think about this package for just a bit. Here's a small lesson in the recycling process.... those numbers are there to separate the different kinds of plastics. All the 1s go together, all the 2s, etc. Because they are different TYPES and will be handled differently. OK - cool, that's clear enough. So once everything gets sorted, away it goes. That's a whole other story, but for our purpose here, we'll Keep It Simple, Sweetheart.

So look again. There is a 2 and a 4 there. If you were holding the package, you would see this and understand that probably, the bubble part and the white outside part are the two different kinds of plastic. OK - cool, that's clear enough. But wait... this mailer is pretty much all one piece. The bubble stuff is completely attached to the outside part. Just a moment of thought should make anyone wonder how this would be dealt with in a recycling facility. How do they separate these?

Answer: they don't. YOU would have to pull apart the two different types of plastic, and even then, the bubble part is unlikely to have the recycling symbol on it, as it is stamped on the white part. So it's still going to just be trash, even if you put the extra effort into it.

So what am I saying? Stop using them? If you can. What I'm really pointing out, though, is the lies that are all around us. Just because it says something there on the package... nope. THINK about it.

And welcome to my head.

Shock and Awe but in a Good Way

Sometimes a product comes along that surprises me in a good way, leaves me hopeful rather than dismayed... it happens. Such is the case with this Rubbermaid product: LunchBlox. Someone has the right idea for a change.

They are kind of cute, aren't they? Of course, these are based on similar products made of the preferred stainless steel, but I'm actually OK with these. They will last a long time, Rubbermaid is a very high-quality name out there. They are certainly preferable to Saran Wrap and plastic bags.  Look - even a salad is wonderfully.... CONVENIENT: 

They even sell a cute bag, but you don't have to get it, you can use your own. I can see that some parents would think this is too much trouble to send in with the kids, but really, come on, let's stop being lazy and making excuses. New habits are only new for a little. Then they are just good habits. Teach a little responsibility for a change. And these are ideal for office lunch. Especially if you are buying and eating crap on a day to day basis. The blue thing is a cool pack to keep it chilled if you do not have a fridge at work. And insulated bag will keep it all good until lunch time. Microwave, freezer, dishwasher safe, no BPA. I still wouldn't heat it in the microwave, but that's me. And I would use the crap outta these, I wouldn't just use them for a few months then throw them away to buy more. If these can be used for a good long time, then I'm all for it. 

I'm a fan. Thanks, Rubbermaid. I know they make a lot of plastic products, but some of them can be worth a second look. This is a nice bridge product. Every little bit helps? Maybe? 

Oh, What the Heck. One More from Dole in Plastic Wastefulness!

I think I picked on Dole before. I can't help it - when I am looking through coupons and I see the word "convenient" screaming up at me, I gotta look at it.

"Mornings just got easier  and even more delicious!"

There was no really great picture to show you the dual-plastic containers. But in searching images, I was treated to just how many Dole products are enshrined in plastic. Yay. They have those shaker smoothies - aha, I knew I picked on them! - and some products called crisps, which seem to be fruit ensconced in plastic with oats or some such in a separate plastic coffin of its own. Then they have just plain fruit in plastic. And they have these. These just-add-hot-water oatmeal with a small plastic sarcophagus of fruit above that you add in after you heat your oatmeal. Amazing company - I really hadn't dreamed of this many ways to trash the planet. They really have it together on that. It's downright admirable!

"Convenient, portable cup." And sugar, and sodium. Look, I know you barely have enough time to properly wipe you ass most mornings, but do you really think these are the best things for you for breakfast? Must you trash MY planet because you can't manage your time properly? Because you can't be bothered to feed yourself the right way? Because you can't just grab an apple instead? Because you can't plan ahead?

I know. Just move along. Nothing to see here. The shareholders of this company really need never worry. Maybe they are privately owned. I don't know. Someone's rich off our laziness, that's all I know. And they aren't going to get poor or go out of business any time soon, no matter how much of a tiny little gnat I continue to be. It's OK. I'm getting used to it.

While We're On It....

YoCrunch. "Pack some fun in their lunch!"

Fine. It's yogurt. And pure sugar, but oh well, who cares about that. Let's go ahead with these, because, after all, with everything I am talking about, we are running out of stuff to put in kids' lunches. So let's go with these.

Use them for adult snacks and lunches too. And at home, after school. They are very convenient. And fun.

So... one for me, one for the kid, maybe not every day, but OK we have more than one kid and all kids have to have the same lunches or havoc will ensue so let's go ahead and buy three 4-packs to partially get us through the week. They were on sale. We'll go through them in a few days. That's 12 of the bottom part and 12 of the top part. 24 pieces of not-getting-recycled plastic into the landfill, ocean, whatever. From one family. Multiply by millions. Multiply THAT by - we'll be conservative - 2 days a week times 52.

I've done the math. You go ahead. I'll be over here. I'm done.

Uh...

Olives. They aren't for everyone. They aren't one of the top - oh - FIFTY things you think to put in a lunch box. I love black olives. Love them love them. I have a friend who thought he hated them but when they are around, he can't get enough of them. I open a can and they almost don't make it to their destined salad, because I just pop 'em. Kalamata, not so much. Green - took me awhile, but I'll put about 50 of them in a bloody mary, thank you. No need for dinner then.

All that being said, I really didn't realize there was a need for them to be easy and convenient for snacking.

"e-z peel lid! no liquid!" "Guess what? Olives are a fruit!" "Perfect for the lunchbox!" "Toss one in your purse!" "Fun after school snacking!" "40 calories per cup."

Yeah, there are, like, SEVEN or eight frickin' olives in these stupid plastic cups.

At this point, I start to feel that if you are a regular reader of mine, I need not even go on. BUT... I must.

Is it REALLY so hard to pop open a jar or can of olives and divvy them up into your own reusable containers for a few days of snacking? Do you really have so little time that this is how you have to deliver them to your kids? Is the liquid in the regular jars such a problem? Do we REALLY need these cups to be in our environment? OF COURSE NOT. How many times have I said it? These containers are NOT getting recycled.

They make me tired.

But.. but... Goodie, what about the BPA lining the regular cans? Shouldn't we worry about that? Isn't this better???

Thinking of answering that makes me tired too. I can't go on. Really. The more I look at the ad that inspired this post, the more weary I get. It's not gonna end. We are hopeless.

I'm going to go splurge and clean my mirrors and windows with paper towels. So luxurious. Hey. No one else cares, why should I? I've been pointing out crap like this for 4 years now. I would have hoped to have run out of silliness by now. It's not even slowing down, people.

This one's for you, Tim. I'll send you a case of these.

Juice Sure is Healthy

Ahhh, juice. So good for us. Quite the market for juice these days. All kinds of healthy juices out there. Detox with juice! Cold pressed, high pressure processed juice, just plain old-fashioned simple juice. Organic! Healthy! Names like Naked Juice, Vital Juice. Juice packaged by the soft drink people who don't want to miss out on the market. And aaallllll of them packaged in.... plastic.

Do a juice fast! And drink OUR product all day long for weeks! Who cares if your health concerns trump the planet? I mean, c'mon! Who cares? You can toss them in the recycle bin and it's ALL GOOD! Will the acid in the juice leach out some weird thing like BPA-but-not-BPA-because-we-don't-do-BPA-anymore-because-we-are-SO-enlightened from the plastic? Who knows! We don't even know what's IN plastic! Hell, we didn't know BPA was in there a few years ago. But that's gone, so we're clear here! Who cares that no one really realizes those caps aren't recyclable? Garbage. They're small, they barely add to the landfills. Truly. YOU are doing good for YOUR health and that is ALL that matters!

Oooo - you could go to Jamba Juice every day! That packaging is just fine too! Think of all the lids and straws you get to use! Oh, you could bring a container but you don't have just the right size and they don't really do that anyway and well that's just too inconvenient, you would have to actually WASH it out and remember it all the time. Bummer. Don't harsh my juicing mellow with your inconveniences, Witch." Sorry.

HPP - high pressure processing - actually required the stuff to go into plastic. YAY! "Our juice is so lovingly prepared and good for you that we HAVE to put it in plastic!" Oh, hey, it's lighter and cheaper to ship, too. Don't forget that. Very important. 

I actually came across a company that only uses glass bottles. DROUGHT Juice refuses to use plastic. Awesome on them.

Why does DROUGHT juice only have a 3-day shelf life? Can I drink my juice past the 72 hour mark?

DROUGHT juice contains no preservatives and is unpasteurized, and therefore is highly perishable.  We employ a cold-pressed juicing process that maximizes the shelf life for up to 3 days (72 hours), but cannot advise consumption of our juice beyond this point.  Each juice is labeled with a 'consume by' date for your convenience.

I would buy THAT juice except what the heck happens with all the unsold product?? Is there a lot of waste in their product line?? They say they limit production and strive for zero-waste, and they are very regional, so it may be believeable. I'd try it.

Look, none of these companies - except maybe DROUGHT - give a crap about your health. They are about profit. Actually, even that one in glass tried to say they are better than juicing at home. Because they cold-press, and your juicer gets ever so slightly warm as it juices. So boo. Oh - and you have to drink yours immediately that you make at home. Uh, yeah. Kind of the point. Save yourself some money, get a juicer, make your own damn juice, and if you have to buy a beverage, get some Kombucha. That's always in glass. STOP being a consumer and do something for yourself. I know it's just not convenient to have to actually MAKE your own juice, and all those thin beautiful women in the juice ads look SO happy and free... with their disposable income and endless supply of juice in their fridge - I know we want to be JUST like them! You know you will be if you just drink the same product!

Make sure you keep buying bottled water too. It'd be a shame to not double down on your plastic usage. You can't do your own juice, why should I think you spend a few seconds avoiding the single-use plastic for your water?

Fasts, cleanses, washes... whatever. These companies want you to drink - what? - 4 or more bottles of their product a day? Effing irresponsible to use that much plastic. For a few weeks? Do us all a favor and stick with your GMO soy processed food diet. And please think twice or three times about procreating. Because if you think it's fine to go ahead and use that much plastic, selfishly, for your little cleanse, then who knows what plastics you will subject the rest of us too with your offspring.

We already know you need things to be convenient, right?

Dole Makes It Easy

Ahhh, they sure do. Sending fruit to lunch for the kids has never been easier. Just buy and send. What could be easier?

Hmm. I don't know. How about just frickin' buying fruit and freezing it yourself? "But you can't get blueberries fresh all the time." How about that. Maybe go without blueberries if you can't get them at a certain time. You won't die. "But pineapples are really hard to cut." So don't eat them. "But I want them." You can't want them that badly if you can't even be bothered to do the work of cutting them. "But I don't have time to do this for my kids. It's easier to buy this stuff." You don't have time? Then why did you have a kid or three? Shouldn't you have the time to do something properly if you are going to do it? Are you telling me you are doing a half-assed job of raising your kids because you are too busy to do it right? Nice.Tell me I'm wrong, cuz that's what I'm hearing.

By all means, since you do not have time, please continue to consume plastic products, which increase the need for oil production, and keep buying these things for your kids to throw away, because actually they are the ones who will have to deal with the mountain of plastic garbage from their childhoods anyway. They'll only have themselves to blame. It's cool.

Yet another example of a product where we could take a second to think, "Is this really worth the plastic waste created here? Or can I do without it? Is there a better way?" But we don't.

I cannot find out what kind of plastic this is. I'm not inclined to go to a store right now to look, either. Is it #2? 5? If they get thrown away at school, I hardly think they are going in the recycling. So they are going in the garbage. Nice. Hello, Ocean. Bet you thought you had enough plastic already, huh?

Nope.

Nature Box... of Plastic.

You can't have "nature"right in your name when you product is directly harmful to Nature. You just can't. That's my new rule. I say it's a good one. Y'know, make whatever product you want, go ahead, but quit pretending to be all super-uber-healthy and wonderful when all your stuff comes in plastic pouches, containers, whatever.

I get these ads slathered all over my social media for this company, NatureBox. Of course now it will be worse because I searched for them.

Look, I'm sure the snacks are wonderful and healthy and oh so delicious. I'm sure they are... convenient. Whatever. Great. But, look: do NOT pretend to be all Nature-tree-huggy-wonderful when you are basically contributing to plastic garbage. Period. Just stop it. Call yourself healthy, go ahead, but how DARE you use the word "Nature" when you are helping destroy her? How?

I can find nothing on their site that even acknowledges that they have 5 plastic bags in every box. Nothing. No, hey these are #2 bags so you can toss them in the recycle bin (which would be a lie anyway), no, hey these bags are compostable... nothing.

OK. I know. They aren't claiming to be anything but healthy snacks. I get that. They aren't trying to save the world. They feed children in need, for crying out loud! Witch, please, you say. Give 'em a break, you say. What do you want, you ask!

I want them to not blaspheme the name of Nature. That's what I want. Don't even hint at Nature. Quit USING her for your own profit when you obviously don't care that much. Here: you get 1 box a month for $20. 5 bags of stuff most people can probably eat in a few sittings. So, 5 bags each month, 12 months in a year, that's 60 plastic bags per household for just the regular sized box. Now, I'm sure they want hundred and thousands of people ordering this box so they may be a viable, successful company. Say, conservatively, just 1000 people receive these delicious snacks all over the country. I'm no math whiz, but my computer has a calculator. (That's a joke.) (Well, it DOES have a calculator, but I promise I didn't need it.) Imagine if they have all the crazy success they want, and they have, say 10 million customers. Isn't that the goal of a company, to have millions of customers? How many plastic bags is that a year, where do they go, what happens to them?

They end up as garbage, that's what happens to them.

Sell your product, whatever. But do NOT simply gloss over the fact that you are contributing to the downfall of the very thing you use as a namesake. Don't pretend this is the best way for people to get healthy snacks to lose weight. Don't pretend you are making life so easy for people. Don't pretend you are doing Nature a favor. Do not.

Yeah. Plastic bugs me. This is not necessary. This can be avoided. I say do that. Avoid. And think like this when you see such things, please. Let's just all be a little more aware.