Wednesday, June 18, 2014

I'M BAAACK! Because plastic nonsense never left!

Well, I tried to go away. I really did.

You may have seen these in the grocery store. They hang in random areas for your impulse-buying pleasure.

Seems harmless enough. Ice cream is messy. And OOOO they are BPA-free! NOTHING TO SEE HERE, FOLKS! THERE IS NO BPA! IT'S ALL GOOD! 

Here's a description of a similar product, just so we're clear on the awesomeness of this product: 

Keeps kids' clothes clean by catching the sticky drips from ice cream cones or any frozen treat on a stick. Three products in one: One end holds frozen treats on a stick. Flip the Dripstik over and the other end holds ice cream cones in almost any size and variety. Also makes frozen Popsicle treats! Fill the reservoir with juice, insert the stick attachment, freeze then enjoy! Saves parents time from cleaning up colorful puddles from forgotten desserts. Makes an easy birthday party favor! Serve ice cream without stressing about guests making a mess, then simply send the Dripstik home with them. Perfect for road trips. Indulge your children with stops at ice cream shacks without worrying about the upholstery. Let them get the cone instead of a cup and spoon. Helps disabled or elderly persons, letting them enjoy ice cream with self-sufficiency. Durable, soft plastic is long-lasting and easy-care -- simply pop into the dishwasher! Available in assorted fun kid colors. Made in the USA by a mother of five!

Well there ya go. Totally brilliant, right??? 

Kids are messy. Period. We all know that. We were messy when we were kids. Everyone survived. We dealt with it. Look, I am not completely heartless - I have an aunt that had a stroke and has no use of her left arm, and when we take her for ice cream, it's messy. But you know what? We don't care. We laugh, she laughs, it cleans up. We don't need to introduce plastic crap into the environment just because ice cream is sticky. Because you know what? An ocean without plastic is necessary. We don't have that, but it's necessary. What's not necessary is this thing. This novelty item. This thing that might be used a dozen times, or once, or a hundred, but will ultimately just get thrown away. Into the world. Where it will live forever. And ever and ever. Just so some parent didn't have to worry about her upholstery or wash an extra shirt. Buy a bunch and send them home with all the other kids. So that they can get thrown away even faster. By even more people. And by the way, "Made in the USA by a mother of five" is not a selling point to me. I also don't believe it, it strikes me as misleading. 1) maybe if you didn't have FIVE kids you could handle a little mess here and there instead of polluting the world for the rest of us and 2) is she making these all by hand in the USA? Or does she live in the USA and she thought it up and now they are made in China? What's the deal, here? I need the truth. I can handle the truth. You know what isn't plastic? A fabric bib. A towel. A napkin, for cryin' out loud. Drape something over if you are so concerned about everything. 

Why you gotta pollute the world for the rest of us because you had kids knowing they were messy but then don't want to deal with the mess? Because now I have to deal with your mess. How is that right? Why must the rest of us pay for your convenience?

It's too bad we don't actually stop and think about that. Maybe we can start. Maybe before it's too late. Except that it probably already is. So you have non-sticky kids, but we're killing ourselves with plastic and chemicals and additives. 

But hey! Who cares? My car seats are ice-cream free and THAT is all that matters!