Sunday, October 26, 2014

Nutella and No

This really isn't OK.


But it's Nutella! And it's so good and yummy and delicious! Nutella ... and breadsticks! For convenient dipping!

This plastic-sheathed product is so unnecessary that I can't even believe anyone would be suckered into buying it. There is next to no point for it. I take that back - there is no point for it. If I see someone eating from one of these I am seriously going to smack it out of their hands. I don't care how delicious Nutella is, there is no reason for this kind of absurd plastic waste. No reusing or repurposing is worth this package. None. No. Not. Never. 

They are just being introduced over here in the US. While looking for images, I discovered there is one with a drink on the other side, making it twice as big. With a straw. It's a lemon drink from what I could tell. Speechless. 

I did my share of those plastic things with the fake cheese product and the crackers when I was little. You remember - that bright red little cheese spreader thing? I shudder to think how many of those are still out there from our misspent youth. Are we learning nothing? Are we progressing at all? Are we moving forward? 

It would seem not. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Short Quick Plastic-Saving Tip

Pardon me while I get the smell of bleach out of my nose. I hate bleach and I try to avoid using it, but one bottle a year isn't really that much, I suppose, considering.

But I digress. In between my bleach-fest in the bathroom, I revitalized my vinyl shower curtain instead of throwing its nasty-ass away and getting a new one. It's so funny how we just discard those and get new ones when they get gross. Which they do. Often. Since I really can't stand the smell of bleach and bleach-based mildew cleaning products, my shower curtain suffers.

You don't have to replace them all the time. That's a lot of plastic waste. Just toss it in the washing machine. This can be done multiple times with the same curtain before it really just wears out. Toss it in on gentle cycle with white vinegar. That will also be great to ... er ... well, for lack of a better term, douche your washing machine too. It'll come out a little wrinkly but nice and clean and ready to go.

It doesn't matter that they are cheap to replace. It isn't a big deal if they don't look as crisp right afterwards. What matters is it's clean and functional and you didn't toss something.

These aren't getting recycled, no one reuses them, they just go. Let's have them go a little less frequently. And before someone blathers that it's a waste of water, think about the waste of resources that went into making it from scratch, and shut up.


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

And if you thought that was bad ...

Check these lovely items.

Because condiments don't already come in plastic squeeze bottles, you definitely need another plastic squeeze thing to put them in. Tell me how many times this gets used before it gets tossed or just flat-out breaks. Waste of plastic. Or, one kid one time aims it at a sibling. Gone. Tossed. Then it becomes one more piece of trash in the world and a waste of the resources used to create it. Clever? No. Stupid and wasteful.


I can see the argument for this one. Because of course we all need our sugar-laden, high-fructose corns syrup chemical crap-fest of juice in the plastic gallon jugs. And no, kids don't need this. I can't fathom taking up room in the fridge with this thing> And how long before it breaks? Where would anyone store it when it's not in use? Yeah, this thing is beyond ridiculous and should never be purchased. It should not have been manufactured, actually. I see a future of animals getting caught in it and little else. 

I'm kind of speechless about this one. I'll just let it fester in your head. Then I'll thank you to smack me stupid so I don't have to think about it anymore. 

And finally, this gem. Why??? Because there is some novelty to dipping toast in ... um ... what? Nutella? It's not even dishwasher safe, as I discovered by reading about it. Of course I had to stop because the glowing praises in the comment sections gave me pre-aneurysms. (Yes. That's a thing. I get them a lot.) 

Saturday, October 4, 2014

From the Files of the Utterly Ridiculous

Surfing the 'net one day, I felt the need to look at one of those "Cool Things" you-didn't-know-you-needed can't-live-without how-did-we-survive-without or what's-its-nuts. I don't know specifically. Too many of them. Gadgets. OMG moments where you think yes I must have that!!! Or not.

Some of those things are good and just plain cool. Most of them are things we have lived without because we really do not need them. At all. And yes we can live without them. For instance, I bring you in all its I-need-that-now glory ... the One-Click Butter Cutter.

I guess they'll use the butter knife right there to stir the tea?
Back in the Olden Days, when we were less enlightened, used to be a simple butter knife handled this task just fine and dandy. I mean, hello, it has butter right in its name. Plus, looking at this contraption, I am thinking you still need the butter knife anyway to spread the butter. So you can't argue you are saving a utensil from being washed. So let's look into why I must have this piece of plastic crap. From their site:

- Holds and slices Butter with a squeeze
- Safe for children to use! Slices can be cut and dispensed with one or two hands
- Uses less refrigerator shelf space
- Keeps Butter Clean
- Keeps Hands Clean
- Seldom Needs Washing
- Easily cleaned in a dishwasher or in warm water
- Cut slices individually as wanted or cut an entire stick of butter into slices in less than one minute!
- Tastefully replaces the ever-greasy butter dish

Well I'm sold! Wait. No I am not. Safe for children? Because a butter knife is so sharp? I can just see a child getting their hands on one of theses - there would be butter slices all over the table. Perhaps if your child is too delicate to operate a butter knife, they shouldn't be in charge of buttering their own toast anyway. Again, you still have to use the knife unless you are going to sit there until the cold pat maybe melts into part of the rest of the toast. Keeps hands clean? Oh, yeah, I hate when I have to actually hold the butter, it's so messy. Because that happens. Not. I can cut an entire stick in less than one minute? Well now there's something, because I swear it took me an hour to cut that last stick I had. Sign me up! How about that ever-greasy butter dish. Um, why? Don't you ever wash it? I think a pretty ceramic butter dish is worlds more tasteful than cheap plastic, but that's just me.

The site has the following page (this is priceless):
Do you need a Butter Cutter? Of course not.
It’s pure convenience and pleasure.

That’s why they get such good reviews by people who use them.

It’s like having a clothes dryer or hanging your clothes on a Clothes line. You don’t need a clothes dryer but it’s a convenience that people enjoy and use often even though they cost hundreds of dollars and electricity to use!

The Butter Cutters don’t cost hundreds of dollars or require any electricity to use! They do give pleasure and convenience every day they are used. This is why I'm often thanked for having invented them.

"Pure convenience." That screams to me as the number 1 reason to not buy this. Comparing this plastic trifle with a clothes dryer seems a wee bit of a stretch, but that might just be me. They give pleasure? If this is a pleasure-giving device, then some people have really pathetic lives. Just sayin'.

Yes, I overdid it with the dashes here. Get over it.