Saturday, March 26, 2011


Remember when Sundays were actually Sundays, a real day off, and no one worked, and almost nothing was open, because it was a day off? And we were OK with it?

Remember when...

...we didn't have to work seven days a week?

...we didn't have coffee to go? We just drank it when we got where we were going, we didn't buy it in shops to carry it around, or if we did, it was the exception, not the rule?

...when we did carry coffee, it was in a Thermos, from the pot we made at home?

...we didn't have to carry water around at all times, as if we were going to die of thirst at any moment, and we had to wait til we got home if we were thirsty? If we were outside, we ran in to grab a few gulps and then go right back out again? Because it was a nice little break to take from whatever task at hand?

...we raked leaves and shoveled snow, and it was actually good exercise?

...we didn't have access to everything RIGHT NOW, and we knew how to wait?

...things weren't so convenient, so things meant more when we got them?

...we ate dinner together?

...we ate dinner at a real time? Off real plates? With real metal utensils?

...we made lunches for the week, or brought leftovers in, instead of buying stuff wrapped in plastic and Styrofoam? And we didn't eat at our desks?

...we didn't belong to gyms, because we actually got enough exercise DOING things?

I do. What do you remember? Not having/doing these things anymore is what we call "progress". Is it progress to have less time for each other, for our families? Is it progress to trash the planet? Is that progress? Is it progress to not have time to lay on a chaise lounge in the summertime under a nice shade tree with iced tea and a book? How is it progress if we are more stressed, more tired, more depressed, more poor, more fat? How is that progress?  How is it progress to work ourselves to death? Where's the enjoyment? How is it progress if we're not very happy at all? How is it progress when the pediatric wards are full of kids with cancer? Is that the price of progress? Is progress so blind that we stop caring about other people, that the elderly are forgotten and neglected and people that need help don't get any because we are too busy chasing ours?

Shouldn't progress mean we are ALL better off?

I guess not.

Human or Cow?

I finally figured it out. It's not the preaching. It's not the superiority. It's not even the intolerance. I can pretty much handle that from Militant Vegans. But I finally did figure it out what it is that does bug me.

Before I go on, let me be specific. I do not hate vegans. I eat meat. I'm not gonna tell anyone what they should eat, so please don't tell me what I should eat. I'll encourage better habits, sure... but I don't insist. I wish you would not waste water because that does affect me, but I won't insist. I don't keep Kleenex in my home, but if you have them in your purse, I won't object. (Out loud, anyway.) I may scorn your for your plastic water bottle, and offer you an alternative... well, OK, that one, I might get a little strident on, but generally, most people know how I feel about stuff and so I am content with letting their own consciences be their guide. I'll be the little voice whispering in the ear. But I won't preach to your face. If you ask, I will tell. And I certainly won't tell you, Random Vegan, that you should eat meat. So don't tell me I shouldn't. I admire your commitment to a better planet, but please just co-exist with me and don't preach. I know it. Go ahead and give me that look as I peer over my In 'n' Out burger. It's still yummy. So, no, I have NOTHING against vegans. I have vegan friends. (Well, maybe not after my radio show dated 3/26/2011!) But I cannot be around the militant vegans.

Why? Here it is: because they are not all-inclusive in their compassion. (Am I making broad sweeping generalizations? Of course. But it's my blog. I can do that.) The militant variety them will look right past a human in need to rescue a Kobe Cow from its existence. Kobe Cows do NOT need rescued. We should all live so well. THAT'S why it bugs me, that's what it is about them. There is so much human suffering out there, and yet they have made the choice to worry about someone eating an egg that a chicken was going to lay anyway. If they were so overflowing with compassion for their fellow creatures, why not humans? Maybe it's my point of view. Maybe I'M the one being intolerant. Aren't we all trying to save the world? Aren't we all in the same mindframe here? Maybe they have just chosen different battles. I feel like some of them will say, "Of course I'm not going to help THAT guy. He had his chances. He had his choices that he made. These poor defenseless animals didn't have a choice. I would rather help them." I say back: To what end? Why bother making the planet a better place if that homeless guy on the corner is still going to be homeless and hungry?  Can you promise me that once the last animal is saved, that you will give a shit about that guy? I am tempted to think your opinion will not change much, and you'll still feel no compassion for him, and that you'll still snort derisively and say, "He had his chance."

And, then again, I could be WAY off base. These are just the musings of a person who has time to reflect on too much while driving the same route home from work every day, seeing the same sights, having way too active an imagination. Some could say, well, what are YOU, Green Witch, doing for that homeless guy? Why should you be able to say anything about THEM when YOU aren't doing anything either?

Easy: I am not preaching compassion towards all things living while ignoring the guy down the street. Maybe I'm no better. No, strike that, I definitely realize I am no better. I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to be a little better myself, and make the world a better place for the kids coming up behind us. Maybe I was completely incoherent in this, hey, feel free to take shots at me, point out where I was wrong, whatever. I can handle it. These things come up in my head and I write them. I'm just venting. The wonderful good people I know who actually are vegans don't understand when I say that, as a meat-eating greenie, I am put down by certain groups of vegans. Well, of course they haven't heard that because they are on that side! Eat a hot dog and see what happens...

In the end, I really just want us to all get along. I want us to work together to save the species. Not save the planet, it'll still be here, but save the species. Because we WON'T be here if we keep going like we are. I guess I just need to write off the militant ones and put them in the same place I put the uber-religious... the uber-anything, really. Balance. We just need balance.

Which will lead me to my next post....

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Irony: Using Babies to Sell Plastic?

A good example of irony: using babies to sell a product that is horrifically terribly bad for the environment they get to inherit, and the bodies they have yet to grow into.

I have wanted to say something about this for so long! Luckily for me, this stupid commercial never goes away. Everyone thinks it's so damn cute. It has made the rounds of Facebook so many times, I've lost count. Just when I think it might have gone away, someone posts it again, or I see a bus ad with it. Therefore, I feel within my rights to talk about it. You know the one I'm talking about: the Evian ad with the roller-skating babies. Cute? Creepy? Both? Hilarious? I actually cannot force myself to watch it all the way through. Part of it is of course that I do not find babies cute. Anyone who knows me, knows that about me. Do not hand me a baby. I do not want to hold it. Ever. We've already covered the fact that I have no biological clock. Never had, never wanted, never thought they smelled great, in fact hate the smell of baby powder, find them to be messy and loud and somehow always moist. But I digress. Evian used music entitled, "Think Young". I think the point they are going for (again, not really sure, because I just don't get it, period, anyway) is that their water is so good that you should drink lots of it because it will keep you young. ?? Yes? Is that the point to this?

All I get out of it is: here's the future. Here's who gets to inherit the planet. Here's who has to clean up all the plastic bottles from your stupid bottled water!!!! Here's who has a future with a water supply that is completely compromised and scarce. I know, I know, I think too much, I see insidiousness where there is none, I can't just let go and enjoy, I'm pure evil. Say what you will. If more people thought a little bit beyond OH-CUTE-BABY-hey-something-shiny and actually looked around at consequences, then these adorable little guys and girls would have a chance. Let's follow them through their lives, these little tykes in this video, and see how many of them have cancer by the time they are 20. Harsh? Not hardly enough. I'll stop being harsh when 6-year-olds aren't filling cancer wards. Deal? Deal. Do me a favor, meet me halfway, and next time someone tries to pass this video around again or mentions it, please at least say something like, "Yeah, that's a really ironic commercial." They might ask why. Maybe we can make people think more next time. Maybe?

I bet they're even wearing plastic diapers under there.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Can you call yourself an environmentalist when you... meat? Use plastic? Drive a regular car? Have more than two kids? Flush every time???

These are the questions that plague me. Maybe I think too much. Scratch that: I KNOW I think too much. That old kids' question game where you give choices like, if you had to, would you rather be blind, or deaf? Oh, blind, please. I can go without seeing the horrors we humans create, but don't leave me alone in this head with all these thoughts. I need music just to drown me out sometimes. I want to hear the birds and the rain and the wind - they help.

I do eat meat. Does that mean I don't care? Of course not. I try to be responsible about it, where I get it from, the farms on which it is raised, etc... I refuse to eat veal (cruel), and I know our days with certain tunas are numbered, so I abstain... we've cut back for sure. Vegans and vegetarians would be at constant odds with us omnivores. But aren't we all working towards the same goal?

The kids thing, though. That really sticks for me. Bear with me; I'm just a little witch trying to figure this whole big world out. I don't have any, myself. My clock never ticked. Maybe that's why I have this big disconnect. It could be. But having a child is the biggest carbon footprint you can make. In my terribly humble opinion, one is great, two is OK, three... STOP. It's... just not necessary. All the plastic diapers and other plastic products that come with a baby? Aren't there enough children already in this world? Can't we just adopt a homeless person instead? That can be just as rewarding! Right? And you can give all that love to one or two, a third or fourth or eighth, well, someone's going to get neglected. Seriously.

Actually, sometimes I feel we just need to stop adding more people until we are better to the people that are already here. And better to the planet. Maybe we should learn some things before we add extra population. Maybe we could learn to live WITH Nature like every other successful species on the planet does. Maybe we need a time-out to learn some things, to learn to HEAR... to listen... before we're allowed to bring more in. You know, the old learn-to-keep-a-plant-alive, then a pet... then...?

We need to slow down. We need to slow down on many fronts, on many things, in many ways. What we think of as progress and moving forward isn't necessarily "better", just because it's new. We need to pause, reflect, look back, slow down, listen. We need to stop for a second.

Let's stop. And think. And breathe.