I'M BAAACK! Because plastic nonsense never left!

Well, I tried to go away. I really did.

You may have seen these in the grocery store. They hang in random areas for your impulse-buying pleasure.

Seems harmless enough. Ice cream is messy. And OOOO they are BPA-free! NOTHING TO SEE HERE, FOLKS! THERE IS NO BPA! IT'S ALL GOOD! 

Here's a description of a similar product, just so we're clear on the awesomeness of this product: 

Keeps kids' clothes clean by catching the sticky drips from ice cream cones or any frozen treat on a stick. Three products in one: One end holds frozen treats on a stick. Flip the Dripstik over and the other end holds ice cream cones in almost any size and variety. Also makes frozen Popsicle treats! Fill the reservoir with juice, insert the stick attachment, freeze then enjoy! Saves parents time from cleaning up colorful puddles from forgotten desserts. Makes an easy birthday party favor! Serve ice cream without stressing about guests making a mess, then simply send the Dripstik home with them. Perfect for road trips. Indulge your children with stops at ice cream shacks without worrying about the upholstery. Let them get the cone instead of a cup and spoon. Helps disabled or elderly persons, letting them enjoy ice cream with self-sufficiency. Durable, soft plastic is long-lasting and easy-care -- simply pop into the dishwasher! Available in assorted fun kid colors. Made in the USA by a mother of five!

Well there ya go. Totally brilliant, right??? 

Kids are messy. Period. We all know that. We were messy when we were kids. Everyone survived. We dealt with it. Look, I am not completely heartless - I have an aunt that had a stroke and has no use of her left arm, and when we take her for ice cream, it's messy. But you know what? We don't care. We laugh, she laughs, it cleans up. We don't need to introduce plastic crap into the environment just because ice cream is sticky. Because you know what? An ocean without plastic is necessary. We don't have that, but it's necessary. What's not necessary is this thing. This novelty item. This thing that might be used a dozen times, or once, or a hundred, but will ultimately just get thrown away. Into the world. Where it will live forever. And ever and ever. Just so some parent didn't have to worry about her upholstery or wash an extra shirt. Buy a bunch and send them home with all the other kids. So that they can get thrown away even faster. By even more people. And by the way, "Made in the USA by a mother of five" is not a selling point to me. I also don't believe it, it strikes me as misleading. 1) maybe if you didn't have FIVE kids you could handle a little mess here and there instead of polluting the world for the rest of us and 2) is she making these all by hand in the USA? Or does she live in the USA and she thought it up and now they are made in China? What's the deal, here? I need the truth. I can handle the truth. You know what isn't plastic? A fabric bib. A towel. A napkin, for cryin' out loud. Drape something over if you are so concerned about everything. 

Why you gotta pollute the world for the rest of us because you had kids knowing they were messy but then don't want to deal with the mess? Because now I have to deal with your mess. How is that right? Why must the rest of us pay for your convenience?

It's too bad we don't actually stop and think about that. Maybe we can start. Maybe before it's too late. Except that it probably already is. So you have non-sticky kids, but we're killing ourselves with plastic and chemicals and additives. 

But hey! Who cares? My car seats are ice-cream free and THAT is all that matters!

Fail. You Fail. On Every Level.

If you give these to your children, you fail. On every possible level. As a parent, as a human. There are more levels, I am sure. You fail on all of them.

Just, flat-out, plain big fail.

Where to start? The packaging? The preservatives? The sugar, the sodium??? The lack of real nutrition? The packaging? Oh, I said that already. The packaging? Darn it! I said that!

Woo hoo. TWO candy bars inside. What a deal.

Cheese and ham that doesn't need to be refrigerated? Ick! No preservatives there, I am aure. Hawaiian Punch? Why don't you just give 'em an IV of high fructose corn syrup when they wake up in the morning? The pizza ones are disgusting as well. Oh yum, pizza you don't cook! What a treat! Seriously, I got nauseous looking at the different kinds! And this is just the one brand. There are more. Because they sell. Because people buy them. Stop. Buying. Them.

The excuse for sending these to school for lunch - I can't come up with one. There is nothing anyone can say to make me think this is an appropriate lunch for a growing child. School lunches, as bad as people say they are, have to be better than this. As a snack at home?? FAIL.

We wonder why our kids have health problems and attention deficit issues and weight problems. I don't wonder. It's kind of super obvious. How can their brains develop in health when they are ingesting this crap? A treat? A reward? They like them so you buy them for them because otherwise they pitch a fit? "But my kids like them."

Fail.

Yeah yeah yeah, it's easy for me to say all this because I don't have kids.

Right. I made a choice because I felt I might not do it right, and I didn't want to risk a human to try that experiment, that would have been selfish. So, the quicker these NEVER sell, the better. The faster they get pulled from all shelves because of lack of sales, the happier we all should be. Of course, they have so many preservatives that they won't go bad before too long, but still. Give them to convicted rapists or convicted child molesters. There. That works. Let their health go to hell because of lazy foods. Convenience.

KIDS are NOT convenient. Surely you knew that before you had them. No? Fail.

Suck Til It's Flat?

I kid you not. That's their tag line. Yoplait GoGurt, now in color changing tubes for Despicable Me 2, now in theaters!

You could have already guessed that I am NOT a fan of these things. They leave me kind of speechless. They are the kind of thing I might have wanted to try as a kid, but that my Mom was too smart to waste money on them. (The grammar on that sentence twisted my brain too, sorry.) Little plastic tubes of yuck. May we recycle these tubes? NOPE! Into the ocean they go. Forever and ever, amen.

Kind of gross-looking when you see it that way, huh?

So, yeah, I hate these, but now they have super-fun color-changing tubes for the latest promotion. Dare I even ask what extra chemicals had to be put into the plastic to make them change colors??? Dare I? These things are SO heavily marketed. I'm not sure that they sell so well because of it and they have to keep making new versions and products because they are so popular or if that's to make sure they stay selling... I don't know. I just know these are one of the most irresponsible products out there Of all the plastic shit to get your kids to *suck on.* Seriously. In searching images, I found plenty of pictures from other blogs with children and BABIES happily sucking on these things.

I mean, horrifying, right??? Is it me?

What are we doing???? Can we please STOP already??? Now, I know, I know, we've had Otter Pops and all those frozen plastic tubes of brightly colored high-fructose corn syrup with amazing dyes for decades. Hell, I used to buy them. I know better now. I cringe that I ever did buy those. I'm sorry. But we keep on keeping on with this crap, instead of learning.

And back to the chemicals... WTH makes the plastic change colors? Were these chemicals licked on by kittens? I'm guessing not. Should we think about that for a second? Maybe? I don't know? 

Magical wonderful color changes aside, these things are just plain bad news for the environment and therefore kids. Sure, sure, I am positive they shut the little bugger (NOT the word I wanted to use) up for a few seconds so you can check your Facebook account in relative peace, dreaming of a life where you stopped at 2 kids, but can we please think ahead just a tiny bit? Stop for a moment, and think of a sci-fi future where all these stupid little plastic wrappers rise up out of the landfills an oceans and choke our kids' kids. Cuz that's what happens in my happy brain. Maybe it will someday, thanks to these unknown chemicals. This product is so new, I really couldn't find much about it even on Yoplait's site. I did have to have a chuckle, though... they have a section on their page called, "Tips for feeding your toddler." I didn't click on it, because I guessed that the advice was not "Don't feed them Yoplait in plastic shit." Just a guess. 

Magic Tap: Plastic AND Batteries For What?

Here's another one of those wonderful solutions to a problem I did not know we had.

Is it convenient? Sure! Is it useful? Yes. Do people with small children or older adults who have problems lifting need it? Need? No. Helpful? Sure. I lean more toward the older adults, because people with small children don't need yet one more thing to duck out of when being around their kids. (Yeah, I said it. bring it. I'm a witch, not a fluffy bunny-land airy fairy.) It's the Magic Tap Automatic Drink Dispenser. Battery operated.

One of their selling points is that kids can help themselves now.When you have kids, you accept certain responsibilities. One of those is pouring the heavy stuff or cleaning up a spill when you let them pour the heavy stuff. Kids don't really need to be helping themselves to things all the time and you don't have to give them a sense of independence by letting them get their own damn drinks. They need supervision at certain ages. And if they are too small to handle a gallon container of something, then they are still at the age of supervision! Why do I care? Because this is more plastic crap that breaks and gets tossed when it doesn't work right and uses batteries which also just get tossed when they are spent... and really it's for nothing. This is not a problem. If it is, maybe you have to think about some things long and hard. This is simply a company trying to make money. They don't care about your home life. They just are trying to make a buck. Yay, America. Of course they are entitled, but it doesn't mean we have to fall for it.

Yes, I can see where it would be handy for people who cannot lift, or have arthritis, but look at this thing. It IS plastic crap. It can break anywhere so easily, or it'll be a pain to clean out when necessary so into the drawer it goes, then into garbage... and of course they are SO nice and cheap that if it breaks, just buy another, no problem! It's just part of a bigger picture. Solutions to problems we don't really have, and things we have dealt with more or less in an OK manner for years.

If the bottles are too big for little kids, handle it for them. If you don't have time, don't have kids. (Again... "witch." Sorry. It's long been my philosophy that if one doesn't have the time needed for kids or finds life too inconvenient with kids... don't have kids.) If the bottles are too heavy for some people, buy smaller amounts, or have someone (if you can) split them into smaller containers that are easier to manage. (Yes, I have more sympathy there, arthritis runs in my family and I realize certain things become difficult.) But please let's stop with the As Seen on TV crap that addresses made-up issues. We aren't helpless. Our predecessors got along without these stupid things, and just because we think of them doesn't make it "Progress." One of their claims: "If you're tired of lifting large containers, do yourself a favor and buy these." Notice a marked increase in obesity out there in the world? How about we DO lift heavy stuff for a change?

Think.

And actually, if your kid is standing there with the fridge door hanging open in the hot Summer while waiting to fill up a glass of plastic-encased high-fructose corn syrupy crap, you got more than just the one problem. Just sayin'.

Symptom of a bigger thing. Yeah, I picked on the Magic Tap, but really it's all these damn things out there. These stupid products sell millions and then end up where? You guessed it. Ever Ever Land. Part of which is right smack in the middle of all of our oceans.

Instant Kids

I worry. I worry about kids. I don't have any kids, which is good, because I really worry about kids. And if I had kids... well, I wouldn't worry so much about my kids, because it would be likely my kids would not be Instant Kids. Well, they would try, but I would not let them.

We are creating a whole generation of Instant Kids. Kids who think that everything is right there and right at their fingertips and RIGHT NOW, and worst of all, free. Nothing has value when everything is instant and free. The Internet that I too love and use so much is of course responsible for a lot of this. Need some information, a picture, an idea? Look it up. Use it. I'm not saying it's a bad thing... who doesn't love being able to get instant directions instead of getting lost, or looking at a MAP fer' cryin' out loud? Information is a good thing. It's when those expectations branch out into everything else that it gets... undesirable.

How does Mother Nature have a hope against all this instant gratification? TV on demand and available NOW, when I want it. I can't wait, I need it now now now. Microwaves for food with crap in it that our bodies cannot recognize, I don't care I'm hungry I want it now now now. Cook? Bake?? Surely, you jest. Fast food restaurants open all the time. Food in fridge gone bad? So what, I can go to the store now now now and thrown this out and get new. Oh and then I see a fast food joint so I eat there now now now and bring the stuff I bought home and it goes bad too because it wasn't instant enough. Instant oatmeal, instant lunch, instant rice, instant coffee, now now now... Plan ahead? I don't have time! I want it now!

Hey I missed that, can you go back? Sure! no need to pay attention the first time, our DVRs catch it all. Same with music, DVDs, anything. Do I use these things? Of course. But then I remember the Before-time, when, if you missed it, you were SOL. So we paid attention, and we valued experiences, things. We are not raising kids to value anything. Cell phones? I need to call someone now now now. Text. Now. Don't have to wait til you get home to make a call. Get a glass of water. Watch something. You can do that, all of that, now now now.

I'm a part of this society. I have a microwave, of course I do. I have a cell phone, of course I do. I use the internet. Duh, obviously. I am instant, too. But not always. And I lament that these kids will be all Instant. That they will never know how to grown something. Or cook something. Or have to wait for something, so that when something comes along that is worth waiting for, they will not wait, and they will miss out.

We HAVE to teach these kids to wait. To value. To appreciate. I fear, if we do not, we will be lost. THEY will be lost. They will be swallowed in a sea of plastic and they will never have what they should havem what I have...

Appreciation for this world in which I live...

The Trouble with Balloons, AGAIN

We see them pretty much every day. We don't really even register them; they float in our periphery. If we do look at them, we think they are pretty. Fun. Festive. "Oh, I should get that one for so-and-so's next whatever-event," we think.

It's kinda funny, because so many articles have been written about them that I hesitated to write yet another. This is a subject I have covered before. But, as we still don't get it, as we still dwell in a lot of ignorance about this, I'll say it again. And again. And again until we finally get it: Balloons are Bad. Let us all repeat after me. Balloons are Bad.

This is one of the hardest messages to get across, for no good reason I can fathom. But, but, but balloons are FUN! Don't take away our FUN! What do you have against FUN?

Sigh.

Not likely. Oh, Irony. U funny. 

Yes, balloons are fun, yes, balloons are pretty. And that's where it ends. Balloons get let go, balloons pop, balloons are short-lived all around. Moments of happiness, and for what? The latex doesn't break down, and neither does Mylar. Balloons kill unsuspecting animals and sea life that eat them. Mylar knocks out power by getting caught in lines. (Look it up, happens ALL the time.) And is it time to talk about Helium? If you can't think around the pollution part of it, if that's not bad enough (it should be), if you (and when I say you I mean the people you talk to about this) need yet another reason to shun this "habit" - and that is all it is, we CAN live without them - then realize that Helium is an element. It sits there on the Periodic Table of the Elements, yes it does, right there in the inert column. Do you know what that means? It means it exists here and we do not make more. What is here is it. When it's gone, it's gone. No more. None. We don't have Helium manufacturing companies. Helium makers won't lose their jobs if we give up balloons. You know where they *need* Helium? MRI's. Yes. Helium is necessary for that basic medical procedure that is sometimes crucial to a diagnosis. Oh but nosiree Bob, I need pretty balloons at little Susie's party. Wait, not Susie anymore. Little Zoey. Zoey will be scarred for life if she doesn't have pretty balloons at her 6th birthday party. She might cry and demand them and I have to say yes to her because otherwise she'll throw a tantrum. And when Zoey's best friend's mom had a party, she had HUNDREDS of balloons. I can't be outdone. And if I don't put balloons on the mailbox, how ever will people know which house? What if no one shows up because I didn't put balloons on the mailbox? I'll be ostracized from popular parents because I am no fun. I'll be known as That Mom Who Didn't Have Balloons. Oh, the horror.

Meanwhile Zoey gets very ill at age 11. But sorry, we depleted the Helium, because when Zoey was 6, you had all those balloons. It was so worth it at the time, wasn't it? You just couldn't NOT have them there. We'd love to help her, but we just don't have the Helium to run this test that would save her life. Sorry.

Scoff now, go ahead, we can say we told you so later. When WE get denied those tests too, because YOU couldn't give up your balloons.

Seems a little silly and selfish when ya think on it like that, dunnit? No? Just me?

Please help me pass the word around. Sure, sure, people look at you like you're crazy and laugh at you behind your back. It's OK, you get used to it. And you get the last laugh. You know, when we're all crying.

Simply Potatoes. Oh, and Chemicals.

"Stop peeling, dicing, and boiling. Start enjoying."

"We here at Michael Foods know you are FAR too busy with every little thing to be bothered to actually COOK anything, you know, because it's so important for you to have a family and children and don't have the time or desire to actually do things the right and healthy way, so here: be convenient. We'll help. Don't pay attention to the additives and crap we have to put in it to make them stay white and fluffy and whatever, because we're really just potatoes. Simply Potatoes. In plastic. We say the little trays and the cardboard are recyclable, but they aren't, really. Because the cardboard has crap on it and the tray is a #7 that doesn't have an audience yet to call to be recycled. But it's OK. You're busy. Shh shh shh... don't think about the fact that our products have an expiration date, and that there is no way all of them will ever get sold all by that date, because we make enough so that no one ever runs out, and then all those packages of Simply Potatoes are now Simply Garbage. In plastic. It's OK. We know you don't have time to cook REAL potatoes. You know, those thing that really ARE simply potatoes? Potatoes? And potatoes that go bad can be tossed in the compost. Oh... that's right, we forgot, you don't have time to compost either. It's OK! Just buy another bag of our product! Because with all that time you are saving by not actually cooking real potatoes, you can... you can... well you won't be composting, ha ha ha! Oh, chuckle. You can spend more time in front of your computer ignoring your kids, who are in front of their computers! Or, oh hey, shopping for more stuff you don't need to try to make yourself happy because you are soooo empty inside! There ya go! Ain't progress grand? We love it. We love your microwave, and, shucks, we love YOU, because we know you are hooked on the ease of our products, and our shareholders are so happy. They love you, too. Keep on keepin' on, you!"

Do I blame Simply Potatoes, Crystal Farms, A Michael Foods Company? Of course not. I blame us. Someday, maybe we'll open our eyes.

Maybe.

Drink WAT-AAH Part 2

Yeah. I did it. I was at the Natural Products Expo West, and, walking about, I spied a company I had previously pretty much trashed in a blog entry 2 years ago. (http://goodgreenwitch.blogspot.com/2010/07/trick-kids-into-drinking-more-water.html) Sure, I had a moment when I thought I would just sneer and walk past, but then something came over me, and I walked right up to the lady there at the big colorful booth for WAT-AAH and flat-out stated, "Hi. I trashed your product in my blog." She exclaimed, "WHY would you do that??" We laughed (because I really actually AM a nice person), and had a very nice talk for the next 10 minutes or so.

I told her that I did not think bottled water aimed at kids was necessary, and that it set a dangerous example for later in life. She pointed out how their company attempts to get kids to get excited about drinking healthy water over soda or sugary juices and sports drinks. Valid. Going back to my original post, I did actually give them credit for that. (Shocking - I DID research before writing. Ha!) She pointed out their Healthy Hydration Program. I went to their site to read more about it, but the immediate noises that come up when you get there sets me off every time. And then my computer hung up anyway. Seems Google Chrome wasn't fond of the site either. It's a valid program. Good ideas. Kids SHOULD drink water instead of crappy sugary high-fructose-corn-syrupy things. I agree. She said their product has no flavor, sugar, or color, and they rely on fun colors on the bottles and fun to attract kids. She told me a bit about their Juvenile Diabetes Event. OK, they are a pretty into-it company, for sure. Good stuff.

They have great intentions. And the woman I spoke with, Carol (the owner, it turns out), was a very nice very lovely lady. Do they get a pass?

Mmmmm.... no. Sorry, Carol. I know you tried.

I cannot get behind any single-use plastic bottle usage. Are there situations when they are a necessity? Probably. But the 'fridge at home is not one of them. Running around with the kids is NOT one of them, much as parents like to say it is. Sporting events? No, not really. Why don't kids have reusable bottles with their names on them on the sidelines? How many half-empty bottles of this stuff gets picked up at the end of the game, how many kids grabbed another and half-drank it because they lost track of their original one? How much waste??? "Well, we recycle them." Um, no, we don't. We throw them in a bin and feel great about ourselves, but in reality, it is a giant crap-shoot that any of them actually get recycled, or really, down-cycled. More likely, they are contributing to the Giant Plastic Problem we have. Should we be avoiding plastic bottles as much as possible instead? Heck yah. Just because bottles no longer have BPA in them, does that mean there are not still unknown chemicals leeching out into that water that your precious angels are drinking? Mmm hmm. Remember a few years ago when we were ignorant of BPA? Think that can't happen again with another chemical? Mmm hmmm. It is seriously short-sighted to not think about that.

I also went back to read the comments from that earlier post. Apparently, bottled water strikes a nerve when it hits parents in the Big Convenience. I'm including here most of what a Dad said (not edited):

"I read you're blog because Im a Dad with a child that drinks WAT-AAH! all the time. I also make sure to re-use the bottles we buy whenever we can - and of course, we also recycle them.
Im as environmentally conscious as the next guy but I gotta say, reading this blog, Im betting you dont have kids. Nieces and nephews maybe, but not your own. I dont say that as a dig, but when you're running around town and your kids really thirsty and he or she can pick from one of the 400 bottles (plastic bottles) of sugary syrup or this water brand, I'm more than happy to throw down to encourage that decision."

I replied very nicely and with a conciliatory tone, but you know what? I've changed my mind. I already covered the part where throwing them in a bin does not recycling assure. And when you are "running around town," did you NOT think ahead that perhaps at some point your little joys would perhaps, oh, I don't know, get thirsty and plan accordingly? Or do you find yourself having to BUY stuff, because you couldn't be bothered to plan ahead? How about getting your kids in the habit to grab their own reusable bottles as you all head out to go buy stuff? (Wow, Green Witch, what a good idea!) No, I don't have kids. And hey there! Your having kids, by the way, is NOT an excuse to trash the planet I also happen to enjoy. If anything, you should be even more careful and more responsible. Heck, I should be the one gleefully trashing it. But lookit that: I am not.

I pointed out to Carol (who really IS a great lady, I felt good about meeting her, and I really did digest all the things she took the time to tell me) that perhaps giving young kids these throw-aways was setting them up for bad habits into adulthood. She disagreed, feeling that kids who drank WAT-AAH grew up to be more responsible. Meh... I have to think I might be closer to the mark. Yes, WAT-AAH is a better choice than the other things in this picture here, but we SURE as heck do NOT need bottled water in the fridge or cupboards at home. There are no Earth-shattering emergencies that come along every random day that require this. A typical Summer day does NOT need the child running into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle like this. Run in and grab your personal bottle, great. But not this. Not the regular size, not the cute little size, no, this is not remotely necessary. While "running around" is not necessary. It really just isn't. Period.

Plus, they were downing them at the booth during the Expo. I know, it's all about showing how you use your own product... but yeah. Not so much. How many empty bottles after a weekend... and for what?

For what?

Convenience.

Yup.

I'm pretty sure we had sports and run-around days way back before the plastic bottle craze. And, funny, we're still here. We didn't die of thirst. Oh - and how funny, we didn't have nearly the obesity and diabetes that we have in kids now. How ever did we manage, you know, with Life being SO darned... inconvenient?

Juice Boxes = Bad, But Not Why You Think

I'll start right out with it: I do not like juice boxes. I find them pointless. I find them lazy. I find them wasteful. Oh so fun, oh so cute with their little plastic straws. LAZY. A quick way to get kids to shut up and get them full of sugar. The juices in most of those isn't even very good for kids. Proof? Right here in an e-mail I got, asking to get the FDA to change regulations.

Here's some text from the e-mail:

Every child enjoys a juice box with her after school snack. But what parents don’t know is that a disturbing number of juices contain unsafe levels of lead and inorganic arsenic that can lead to serious health problems for children. While the government has rules in place to limit lead and arsenic in our drinking water, there’s nothing to stop companies from making juices and other children’s drinks that contain unsafe levels of those poisons. A new study by Consumer Reports found that at least 10% of apple and grape juices sampled had more arsenic than what the government says is safe for drinking water -- and even more had unsafe levels of lead.

Now it’s up to the Food and Drug Administration to make rules to regulate how much arsenic and lead can be in juices, like they do for drinking water.

While not lethal, that kind of sustained, low-level exposure during early childhood "carries the most serious long-term risk," according to researchers. The dangerous effects of unsafe levels of inorganic arsenic and lead in children are shocking:

• Inorganic arsenic is linked to cancers, heart disease, type-2 diabetes, and immune system problems
• Children exposed to drinking water with unsafe arsenic levels had decreased intellectual function
• Low-level arsenic exposure is "significantly related to poorer scores in language, visuospatial skills, processing speed, and immediate memory," among other problems
• Unsafe levels of lead were found in 25% of juices sampled, and lead exposure is linked to brain development and behavioral problems

If lead and arsenic are unsafe for children in their drinking water, the same poisons should be regulated for the juices that so many children love. -Change.org

Why? WHY must the government step in for this? Why do we not just put this information out there and let parents actually make the CHOICE to stop giving their kids crap? People clamor all the time about too many government regulations. Here's another one. Do we really need this? Comparing drinking water to JUICE BOXES is, in my ever so humble opinion, absurd. Drinking water is kind of on the side of necessity. Juice boxes are on the side of POINTLESS. 

But... but... fruit! And juice! And vitamins!!! BULLCRAP. Sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, artificial colors and flavors... how about all those? How about NOT giving your kids stuff that is bad for them in packaging that is wasteful and bad for the planet? Sure, I too have the uber-cool totebag made from re-purposed juice pouches, but do we really think the vast majority of those are being reclaimed? 

Bottom line: No, the FDA does NOT need to regulate what is in these juices. Parents need to regulate the crap that goes in their kids. Period.

Dishwashers

After my last post about the whole Jet-Dry crap, and subsequent washing of dishes by hand, and the comments by all yinz (getting back to my Western PA vernacular), I got to thinking a little more. I haven't had a dishwasher in YEARS. My parents have one, and I never know how to load the damn thing, and somehow there are always complaints about its performance. And manufacturers are taking the phosphate out of detergents, because it's kind of bad stuff, but then the dishes don't get very clean. You have to rinse them well and hell by then you may have as well just washed 'em by hand, right? Seems like an awful lot of extra water to me. Rinsing them off... then all the water even in your "water saver" mode... hmmm.

People say washing dishes by hand wastes more water. I say no, not necessarily. You just have to be a little conscientious and judicious when washing by hand. For instance, don't fill up the whole damn sink THEN start washing. Wash while filling. Don't rinse one thing at a time. Stack them then rinse quickly. Don't use too much soap; then you don't have to rinse as much. And most importantly, don't turn the water on full blast when you really don't need to.

SO THEN comes in the argument about TIME. My favorite.  Greenie, I don't have time to do dishes. I'm too busy. I have kids. We make a lot of dishes. Um, that's what kids are FOR... to do dishes. If you have kids and they ain't doin' dishes, you are doing something seriously wrong. They're too busy with all their activities?? YOU are doing something seriously wrong. Chores are FOR kids. Kids are for chores. We all did them. It made us better. I know a certain 22-yr-old that can't do dishes to save her life. THAT is WRONG. Kids on step-chairs to reach the sink to do dishes? THAT'S more like it. We juggled school and homework and playtime and still were expected to do our chores. Period. We earned an allowance, we didn't just get it handed to us, or get "rewarded" for behavior we were supposed to exhibit anyway. Kids should do chores. I will not back off of that opinion, no matter how many people try to say I have no idea what it's like because I don't have kids. I was a kid. I did dishes. Every day. Get over yourself and get over your kids and figure it out.

Then there's my other favorite thing: families who use paper or Styrofoam (??????!!) plates at dinner because they don't have time/can't be bothered to do dishes. See the above paragraph so I don't have to repeat myself. There is NO excuse to use anything disposable at the dinner table. Hell, I ain't even giving a pass on lunch. PLATES. Clean things when done. Repeat.

This is what we call progress, Folks. Disposable lives and no time to do BASIC things that we used to have to do, but now we don't have time because we are too busy running around and stressing out to do the most basic things in the world. Make it into family time. Catch up on the day over dishes. You're spending time together, who cares if it's a "chore"? Whatever. Just frickin' do something.

Wait, wait.. we have free time now and we're happier and oh so much more productive and life is so much easier.

Oh. Wait. No it's not. No WE are not.

Let's go back, shall we?

Why Do I? Do you?

I'll say this one right up top here: Our demand for ease and convenience is killing our future generations. I'll warn you, too: there won't be much funny or snarky here. Small departure this time around.

It's well-known I don't have children, so maybe I'm out of the loop. So let's say I am going from a place of casual observation in what is all over our youth: increased asthma rates, cancer of all kinds, ADHD, autism, disorders of the brain, cancer... yeah I said that twice. It's that alarming.

How many people know a kid with cancer? In high school, we had one classmate who had cancer, and she died before we graduated. One, out of hundreds of kids. And that was tragic. Now? I almost can't think of it. Pediatric wards are FILLED with LITTLE KIDS with cancer. How is this even remotely not making every single one of us run around screaming and pulling our hair out? How has this become part of our reality? How do we just... accept it? "Well, no, G-Dub, we aren't accepting it, we hate it too." Then why do we persist in our ways? Because it's OK if it happens to other people's kids, but not ours? I don't have kids and it's not OK to me. I want the terrible nasties that make our kids sick to go away. That's why I do what I do. Just because I loved my eggs too much to fertilize them doesn't mean I don't care about the future. I'm a paradox. I accept this. (Ok, a little snark in this one.)  I am by no means saying I'm the only one that gives a shit, I know I'm not, but damn it, why aren't we all giving more of a shit??? Pardon my English!

The problem is that people are NOT looking around and realizing that their chemicals and products and things they MUST have to make their lives oh-so-much easier are KILLING us all. We spray chemicals all over our homes. Febreze here, Lysol there, Glade over here... and our demand for more and more power dumps more toxins and mercury and crap into the environment, causing how many developmental disorders? Autism: misdiagnosed for decades or crazy-on-the-rise? And why would these things be on the rise? What has changed in the last 40 years or so?

That's kind of a rhetorical question. I know what's changed. Maybe your kids are fine. Great, that's a blessing and you should be grateful. What about their kids? Do you want to see your grandkids suffer and die before they hit 11? Is it worth it to you to step away from the plastic bottles to see your grandkids healthy? Is it so hard to remember your reuseable bags that you spent a buck on, to know that your kids won't have to suffer through suffering of their kids? Can you slow down and go back to cooking real and healthy foods, for the sake of the future generations? Can you swear off plastic diapers, plastic pudding cups, plastic straws... fake fragranced sprays and detergents... paper/disposable everything? Can we think ahead, see what is happening, make it slow down?

If not, why?

Healthy kids should mean healthy planet, too

Waterlicious® is the first vitamin- and fiber-enhanced fruit-flavored water specially formulated for growing kids, both in terms of nutrition as well as taste.

Waterlicious. Making water delicious? Clever. Good for kids and better than sugary juices and sodas? Absolutely. No high-fructose corn syrup? Yay. Natural and all-around good stuff. Hooray. 12-oz throw-away plastic bottles? BOOOOOO. Fail.

I know, I know, I KNOW again. It's convenient. It's good on-the-go. It helps make life EASIER. Giving kids something like this instead of enduring their screaming makes parenting EASIER. I completely grant that this is a better product to give kids than some of the alternatives. What I refuse to grant is why it must come packaged like this. I would be 100% behind this product if it were in glass bottles, in big sizes, so that you can keep it conveniently in your fridge and dole it out into reusable bottles when needed. But this product is not in glass. It is in light, cheap plastic that will be here long after your childrens' children are gone. Yes. The plastic bottle you are using to pacify your child when it really isn't necessary will be here still when your child... well, you get it. Is that what you want? I don't. I believe in the premise behind this drink, but I do not feel it is necessary and I do not agree with keeping cases of it in the home. Heck, why not make some mix that parents can add at home? (Oh yeah, like already exist?) And 25 bucks for 18 bottles? No.

Let's look at it. What is it? Well, it's flavored water. That doesn't seem outrageously novel to me. With the tiniest bit more effort, I'm pretty sure we have the technology to flavor water at home and take it on trips to the park. Seriously. People think I am being a little harsh on these products aimed right squarely at children. Scratch that. At parents. THAT is why I am against these products. They are NOT in the best interest of children. They are create solely for parents who need convenience and do not make the time to make an alternative for their kids. PERIOD! These are quick easy fixes to something that really isn't a problem. TAKE a few minutes and create some kind of flavored water yourself at home with your own water from your own tap. It is NOT that hard. Get the kids involved. The ONLY thing these products do is teach toddlers that it's perfectly OK to use these disposable bottles and that everything should be quick and easy and convenient and store-bought instead of made at home.

Parents are busy. They are hassled. They don't have time for their kids. They work a lot. They're tired. I get it. But I cannot, will not stand by and watch the planet get trashed. I will speak out. I will declare these products are irresponsible and unnecessary. And I will go one step further and say that if parents are not prepared to take a few extra moments out of their day to avoid these oil- and resource-consumptive products, then perhaps they should rethink the number of kids they plan to have... seriously. Kids deserve time and care. Why else have them??? It's all well and good but the rest of us live here too, and THAT is why I speak out. We cannot just go on doing whatever we please to the Earth, because some of us actually want there to BE a future for these kids.

We have a bazillion reasons why bottled water is not good for adults. Why should we think it's OK for kids???

It's really not.