Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Suck Til It's Flat?

I kid you not. That's their tag line. Yoplait GoGurt, now in color changing tubes for Despicable Me 2, now in theaters!

You could have already guessed that I am NOT a fan of these things. They leave me kind of speechless. They are the kind of thing I might have wanted to try as a kid, but that my Mom was too smart to waste money on them. (The grammar on that sentence twisted my brain too, sorry.) Little plastic tubes of yuck. May we recycle these tubes? NOPE! Into the ocean they go. Forever and ever, amen.

Kind of gross-looking when you see it that way, huh?

So, yeah, I hate these, but now they have super-fun color-changing tubes for the latest promotion. Dare I even ask what extra chemicals had to be put into the plastic to make them change colors??? Dare I? These things are SO heavily marketed. I'm not sure that they sell so well because of it and they have to keep making new versions and products because they are so popular or if that's to make sure they stay selling... I don't know. I just know these are one of the most irresponsible products out there Of all the plastic shit to get your kids to *suck on.* Seriously. In searching images, I found plenty of pictures from other blogs with children and BABIES happily sucking on these things.

I mean, horrifying, right??? Is it me?

What are we doing???? Can we please STOP already??? Now, I know, I know, we've had Otter Pops and all those frozen plastic tubes of brightly colored high-fructose corn syrup with amazing dyes for decades. Hell, I used to buy them. I know better now. I cringe that I ever did buy those. I'm sorry. But we keep on keeping on with this crap, instead of learning.

And back to the chemicals... WTH makes the plastic change colors? Were these chemicals licked on by kittens? I'm guessing not. Should we think about that for a second? Maybe? I don't know? 

Magical wonderful color changes aside, these things are just plain bad news for the environment and therefore kids. Sure, sure, I am positive they shut the little bugger (NOT the word I wanted to use) up for a few seconds so you can check your Facebook account in relative peace, dreaming of a life where you stopped at 2 kids, but can we please think ahead just a tiny bit? Stop for a moment, and think of a sci-fi future where all these stupid little plastic wrappers rise up out of the landfills an oceans and choke our kids' kids. Cuz that's what happens in my happy brain. Maybe it will someday, thanks to these unknown chemicals. This product is so new, I really couldn't find much about it even on Yoplait's site. I did have to have a chuckle, though... they have a section on their page called, "Tips for feeding your toddler." I didn't click on it, because I guessed that the advice was not "Don't feed them Yoplait in plastic shit." Just a guess.