What Do We Have Against Aluminum?

"Aluminum has finally been foiled." Why, exactly? Oh - that's right, because we came up with something even more convenient.

I realize the process of getting aluminum from the planet isn't like being licked by puppies, but the stuff is endlessly recyclable, back into the same stuff it started out as. Aluminum. Or, if you are British, aluminium. Which I find a pretty cool way to say it. But anyway. Up til now, if you needed a quick baking pan or something to bring to someone else's place, you bought an inexpensive aluminum pan that pretty much had just a few uses in it, if you were careful. No worries when it was no longer able to go on... or you put the knife through it... it went in the recycling bin, no questions, no second thought. I personally take my food to other places in my Pyrex. I'm not terribly worried about not getting it back, you know? But anyway.

Chinet doesn't think that is good enough. Nope, they saw a market and went for it. They have new disposable non-stick attractive bakeware. Freezer to microwave. Resealable lid. OK to leave behind. $4.95 is not a bad price point, I suppose, for something you are only going to use once, right? And it's made from 90% recycled materials.

I.... have questions.

There is an instructional .pdf. Cool. This will tell me more. Uh... no, now I just have more questions.

90% recycled material. Recycled WHAT? I'm getting that it's a paper sort of product. I guess. I think. Recycled from where? It never actually says WHAT it is. And it's non-stick? How? With what? What makes it non-stick? Is it plastic? Dupont? What? It doesn't say anywhere. It has a lid. Made from what? Oh - plastic. Is it recyclable? Doesn't say. All it says is you'd better not put the lid on when food is hot or warm, it can deform. Hm... not a very effective lid. Chinet Bakeware is great to go to the freezer, but not with its own lid. You need something else. (Like, aluminum foil, maybe?) And don't reheat anything in it with the lid on it. Lid can deform. (I'm getting a little dizzy at this point.) You cannot reuse the pan at all. You cannot wash the pan. (It will deform. I'm seeing a trend here. oh - SORRY - "distort and weaken.") You can't broil in it or go above 400 degrees. You can't use it in anything but a regular or microwave oven... not a toaster oven, not around a grill, not around portable cooking devices.

(Who besides me is reading all this handy information before using???)

"Sturdy and dependable." Yeah - once. Even a one-night stand is sturdy and dependable ONCE. Usually.

I guess I'm just failing to see the point here, except that we have a product that is destined for the landfill. It cannot be recycled again, the plastic lid is apparently completely useless except for a tiny portion of its life, which you may as well use FOIL at that point... That's it. If I go anywhere pot-luckish or picnicky, and someone has brought one of these, I really will not be able to NOT slap them. There. Everyone has been warned. Thanks, Chinet! You found yet one more way to bring even more garbage to picnics and life in general! Impressive!

Wash a plate, for crying out loud.

I get it, I really do. Cookouts, picnics, that sort of thing... you don't want plates around. I don't agree, but I get it. I would rather see people pick up bamboo plates or palm leaf plates or even plates from the thrift store to use outdoors. But, that aside, what REALLY gets to me, and no excuses here AT ALL, is the use of paper plates IN THE HOME. Chinet ad: "Chinet Casuals. Every day of the week is the perfect day to use them."

REALLY??? What gives with this??? I saw an ad for Dixie Ultra (Georgia-Pacific, haven't picked on them yet) paper plates, and yeah OK for the shots around the BBQ, but in the home? In the kitchen? At the TABLE??? Most of the examples of usage in the commercial were IN the home, AT the dining room table. No. No no no no no no no. No. There is NO reason to use paper plates or Styrofoam plates or toss-away plastic plates in the home. EVER.

Bring on the excuses...
"Kids." Um... more reason to NOT use disposable plates. You know, because of saving the planet for them and such. Afraid they'll break real plates? OK... so? Plates break. Not valid. No time to wash real plates? NOPE. You made the kids, you make the time to steward the planet for them. Anyone who doesn't "have time" to wash plates should not have taken the time to have kids. Kids take time. Deal with it.

"Guests." Bridal shower, party, etc? Like the Chinet brand "Cut Crystal - sophisticated disposable tableware" (their words, not mine). Nope. Command more respect by figuring out how to have a gathering without 50 bags of trash, and show people how it's done. I really don't care if your plates and silver all match. Or again, look into bamboo or palm. Something, anything reusable. Don't want to wash after the grand party? Frickin' build that time into the planning of the party, and GET HELP from someone else doing the planning with you.

"Compostable/recyclable/biodegradable." Nope, nope and nope. I don't believe enough people out there actually compost to make that a viable excuse. If you do, YOU get a pass. And ONLY you. Have at. My hat tips to you. Everyone else, no. Recycling? There's already enough stuff out there that goes in the bins but doesn't actually get recycled. No need to add to it. Biodegrading plates? Nice try, but we all know that when something hits a landfill, it gets covered and never sees enough light or air again to actually biodegrade effectively, if at all. So no.

"Waste of water to wash dishes." NOPE. It takes more water to create the throw-aways than your washing would ever take. Especially if you are being water-conscious in your washing techniques.

Anything else? No? OK... dear readers... I know YOU guys avoid these things, and now you are equipped with all the counter-points you need for everyone else. Sorry. I know you'll stop getting invitations to friends' and neighbors' gatherings. that's OK - you didn't really like them anyway. And that's one less potluck invite to have to lie your way out of. We the Living can have our own wonderful gatherings and show these people how it's done! No paper/plastic/Styrofoam, no 2-liter plastic bottles (cans and glass only!), no paper napkins... let's start a picnic revolution!

Careful, though. You could end up like me. I just don't go anywhere. Hahahhahahaa....