Wednesday, September 14, 2011

If the bright lights don't receive you...

When do you know that it's time to give up?

People have told me, you have to stay where you can do the most good, where you can change people, not where people already have the same beliefs as you. But isn't it nice to be around people who believe as you do, and not have to fight all the time? 

I'm done here. I'm done with the "big city". I need more quiet. I need open spaces. I need to be able to bury my hands in the warm Earth as I plant my garden. I need less horns and fewer helicopters and less entitled people. I need to be where people might hear my message and actually try to change, rather than people hearing it and knowing it but ignoring it because they are so wrapped up in themselves. Is it really "giving up", or just trying something different?

Are we running away, or running toward? I think, a little of each. It's OK to run away from noise and stank and self-absorption. It's OK to run to hard but rewarding work. 

I didn't think I would ever want to leave palm trees and mild winters. But I'm ready. Everywhere I look now, I see ugliness. I try to see the pretty stuff still, but it's falling away quickly. My tolerance is slipping. 

It's funny how priorities change as we age. I'm OK with it. 

OK, got that out, now back to the everyday stupid stuff that makes me crazy.