Friday, November 23, 2012

Or you can, you know, MAKE your own drinks.

My favorite holiday tradition... thumbing through the Bed Bath & Beyond mailer. After my head flew off at the old-timey Atari Flashback Game Console, with my inner child screaming how we HAD to HAVE that, I was able to look at the rest of the stuff. (But yeah. Oh yeah. Might have to get that. I'm only human. And a product of the late-70's-early-80's. I'm weak.)

But get to the section of "What more can I possibly spend money on that I really don't need?" That's where it gets good. Around the super-special wine openers and battery-operated wine preservers (Who are these people that leave opened wine around that long??? Just drink it!!) was the creme-de-la-creme of the perfect home wet-bar: the Margaritaville Mixed Drink Maker. If Jimmy Buffett is involved in this thing, I am truly embarrassed for him.

For a mere $299.99, you too can own this giant plastic monstrosity that you will use maybe twice a year and that takes up what looks like a go-awful amount of counter space, and of course don't forget to clean it out after use because if you put it away with the liquids in it they will go bad and get really gross... Oh yeah I am running out to get mine! Hope they don't sell out!

Oh, and then when you go to their site to check it out, on the FAQs they recommend using 16oz plastic party cups. Oh, and of course it uses power, so there ya go.

To summarize: giant plastic parts that when they break or you are sick of this just go into Ever-Ever Land (since, you know, plastic NEVER goes away, so it stays around for Ever), energy consumption required, and the potential for great amounts of wasted beverage. This, versus a coupla bottles of alcohol and mix, and then actually pouring drinks by hand. So pedestrian. So last century.
pouring drinks. Snort. The thought of it.

That's it. Just a tiny bit of holiday "extravagance" which is really just plain old stupidity. Surely there are more worthy things to blow this much money on, right? No? Surely.