Monday, August 6, 2012

Encouraging Forgetfulness, Now With Chemicals!


I don't won't never will use dryer sheets. Can't stand the smell of them. The thought of them leaving all their chemicals behind on my clothes and my sheets to just sit on my skin makes me feel all crawly.

BUT DON'T WORRY! You no longer need to rely on your poor memory for dryer sheets! No more forgetting them! We are SAVED! Bounce has brought us the Bounce Dryer Bar. Procter & Gamble to the rescue, again.

Oh I shudder to think what gooey glop of chemicals make up this thing. Can't really find it easily on the site. But, yeah. for all those forgetful types who just can't be bothered to remember the dryer sheet, this thing just sticks right on in on the wall of your dryer. The heat and your clothes bumping up against it release its magic into your life.

If you discover you don't like it, guess what - you already bought it and you now have this plastic thing that you have to pry out of your dryer, just to toss out into the world. I was amused by this little blurb in the FAQs about if it should stain your clothes: "Well, the super smart scientists at Procter and Gamble spent a whole five years developing the Bounce® dryer bar to assure there will be even and consistent benefits to your glorious clothes. If it so happens that you do develop a stain, re-wash your garment and it should come out, no problem!" Great. It MIGHT stain, so now you have to use twice the water if it does. Lovely. Now, mind you, not only does this stuff get all over your skin and into your system, but next time you wash everything, there are still plenty of chemicals left there to wash back into the environment. 

Yay! It's such a win-win!

I've lived happily and relatively static-free without dryer sheets for years now. I can't imagine how this thing is a necessity in anyone's life. But by all means, watch the commercials. They are such a celebration of the massive airheads we have become. Let's keep going that way. It's so helpful.