Say It With Me, Again

Say it slowly, because we didn't get the memo last time.

A plastic bottle made with less plastic is still PLASTIC.

A friend of mine pointed out what Nestle has been up to with their new and improved Poland Spring Eco-Shaped bottles. I guess the bottle is super-crazy thin and the cap is tiny. I don't usually catch this stuff because bottled water is way off my radar. Maybe if I pretend it isn't as prevalent, it won't be? No? Darn.

The new bottles use less materials and therefore fewer resources, and they weight less so they are easier to ship, and less material goes into the waste stream. Good, right? Is it still plastic? Yes. Then, no, not good. I read that the company's machines produce 1200 bottles every... hour? NOPE. MINUTE. Can you conceive of that? Because I cannot wrap my brain around that.

Now, are the good people at Nestle doing this because they care SO much about the environment? Of course not. Less plastic and less materials and less shipping cost while charging the same amount or more for the same amount of product (which they pretty much pump free out of communities that would otherwise be USING that water for, you know, themselves) means a better bottom line for their CEO and shareholders. That CEO, Kim Jeffery, in case you wondered what his name is, would have you believe they are doing some great service by giving people something bottled to drink other than soda. He would have you believe they are superior because their bottles are more eco-friendly than the heavier soda/juice/sports drink counterparts. Look - the only reason they care about the environmental impact is because they can use it as a selling point. Bottom line again. (See how that works?)

Did I mention that they have to have a warning on the label about the caps being a choking hazard for babies and small children? Lovely. If your kid gets your hands on this cap and chokes on it, you have no one to blame but yourself. Seriously. I don't want to see one single lawsuit come up about that. I would actually have to side with the Corporation on that one. And that makes me despondent.

Here is the long and short of it... let us ask, "Is this still a plastic bottle?" Why yes it is.

That is all we need to know. Thank you. Move along, please. Nothing to see here.

I Scream for Ice Cream...

I discovered the reason I stay off Pinterest. I'm sure there are a million wonderful things on there, but knowing me, they would be overshadowed by things that piss me off. Like this...

"what a great idea! such a time saver for birthday parties- scoop the ice cream into lined cupcake pans & put them in the freezer. then just pull them out when you cut the cake & serve!"

And someone's comment: "oh I LOVE this idea....no more expensive single servings needing to be bought!!"

Where to start. I almost do not know. I guess I'm wondering why it's OK to create more garbage for a little time saved. I'm wondering what lessons we teach children by these actions. I'm wondering why no one stops to think about the resources wasted by manufacturing these little paper liners in the first place, not to mention the resources to get them to stores, etc.

Most of all, I am wondering who the hell buys "expensive single servings" for a birthday party???

I consider this a Lazy Fail, and the wasteful use of resources for something that isn't really necessary. I know, I know, the hardship of actually scooping ice cream during a party is truly heartbreaking. But I think we can get over it.

You just KNOW these went straight onto paper plates, too. Better yet - Styrofoam. With Red Solo plastic cups and plastic forks. And spoons. And knives. You just know. You know you know. I know. I'm dead sure of it. Add the little plastic crap party favors Made in China and the scads of wrapping paper - OH! and probably bottled water, too, I am sure, because if you are too damn busy to SCOOP ice cream DURING the party, then you sure as hell are the kind of household that uses bottled water - add all that up and you have the PERFECT 21st Century Kids' Birthday Party.

You enjoy that. I'm sure they will when they are adults with their own kids, looking around at what we have left them. Enjoy.

Choosy Moms Choose... Convenience?

Apparently.

I have to laugh, because I know that there are people out there who KNOW my head flew off when that commercial came on. "The same great Jif taste in a convenient snack size that's perfect for dipping!" Oh look, there's my favorite word. So, let's check out this product: peanut butter that we KNOW is way too packed with sugar to be healthy, and even in the larger "home" container, it's in plastic... but now, it's in even smaller plastic. Because it needs to be convenient and you need to take it with you! I won't even mention the fact that there are 22 grams of fat in each tiny little pack.

(Oh, wait, I did. Oops.)

Now, a slightly more creative person, one who is - you know - choosy, might actually think that if you really need to take peanut butter out and about with you, that you can just take it out of the large jar already in you home and place it into smaller containers that can be, oh, I don't know, washed and re-used again another time? Well, THAT'S just silly, because, well, think about it... then you have to wash a knife or a spoon, you have to rely on that container finding its way back home, and THEN you have to wash that too! The horror! Who has time for THAT? By all means, let's pay more for the convenience of creating extra garbage. We don't have enough of that in the world. Who wants to take the extra time to plan a lunch, or a snack? The awesome people at the J. M. Smucker company have taken care of the pesky details for you, because of course they care SO much about YOUR time and YOUR well-being.

We're not moving forward with any of this. All I see are more conveniences popping up all around, because we sure as hell don't have time to do anything once we have brought the kids into the world. And we can't stop and do what really is the right thing. Just keep going. Keep shoving the kids into the SUV's and shoving the fat-packed fast and convenient crap into their mouths. Because that's how we support a successful, viable, sustainable future. Yep, we are definitely heading in the right direction here. Get the jelly packs in separate plastic containers and pack the bread in individual plastic Ziplock bags, because you wouldn't want anything to get soggy or anything to touch anything else until right before you eat half of it and throw the rest away...

Yeah. We're definitely progressing.