Worm Slaves

"Here she goes again." It's OK if you think that. I can see how it looks like I pick on vegans. It could be because I've been lectured one (ten?) too many times. It's a hazard of the trade. I accept it, but I do enjoy giving it back.

I love worms. Always have. Don't like fishing with them; hate to have to kill them to put them on the hook. Always pick them up from the sidewalk where they are at risk of drying in the sun or getting trod-upon. Never been grossed out by worms. Never ate one either, by the way. I guess kids do that sometimes when dared. I avoided that fate. I would love to compost with worms, but it seems daunting. Especially in an apartment. But it seems like a great thing to do.

So, imagine my amusement when I came across a debate on Facebook about whether or not composting with worms, or vermiculture, is vegan. Imagine my chuckle as some vegangelical came across and said, "NO! You are enslaving worms!!! You are making them serve you!" (Oh, and bee keeping is ALSO not vegan, but that's another post. I promise.) I did a search, and came across this from a vegan-ish board: "vermiculture is not vegan. vegans don't use animals or animal by products, compost from worms is an animal by product. the worms are working for you, they are not pets like dogs and fish because they are kept for an end result, poop. even if you keep them in the best conditions and treat them with respect, you are still harvesting them for your own purpose."


Seriously? Um... So, giving them a nice warm home and lots of great food and keeping them from harm and giving them the best life ever... that's... well... that's not a good intention, it can't be vegan because you are using their poop? It's OK to eat things that grow out in the wild 'cuz them worms is free-range type worms? The poster goes on with a little more clarity: "i understand that it is nearly impossible to find out what type of compost was used to grow food and plants, and that most food is grown with animal manure or compost with animal by products, however these methods or unnecessary because vegan compost works just as well as vermicompost and other composts with animal by products. we get to choose how we fertilize our own plants at home, choosing vermicompost is not vegan."


Frankly, I'm confused. Someone please enlighten me on this one, because I REALLY don't get it, even after this enlightened explanation. It could be this particular person is just a crock, and this isn't an all-encompassing feeling. But I have seen it more than once, and so that tells me I need to address it. See, extremism scares me. I wish to understand. I want to know. Inquisitive mind, remember? Someone please tell me why providing worms with a good place to live and lots of free food and protection from birds and the elements is WRONG? We're using their poop. They are using us for all the things just back there in that sentence right back there you just read back there. It's a SYMBIOTIC relationship. And those are good. By this crock (IMHO) line of reasoning, we should flush all the e.coli out of our systems, because we are using them for our own health. How very.

Look, live how you want, but please learn some logic. I wish for there to be logic. Because my brain hurts, otherwise. And I like my brain. I give it a nice home and it gives me...

Wait... I'm USING my brain for my own purpose.

Mm hmm.

Can't we just live with pet hair?

I have a cat. A black cat. She's little and has fairly short hair, but she sheds. I don't care. I have a cat. That means cat hair on stuff. If I minded, I wouldn't have a cat. There's the vacuum for the floor and couch and the washing machine for other things. These are enough. When people visit, they are in the home where my cat lives. If they have a problem with cat hair, respectfully, they can stay away. If they are allergic, I will happily clean really well before they arrive, and make sure my cat is comfortable elsewhere while they are present. But this is her home, and her hair here is fine.

Apparently, I am in the minority. Apparently, it is unseemly to have pet hair anywhere in your home. (My cleaning standards are more lax than others, I guess!) Lint rollers are everywhere. BUT WAIT!!! SC Johnson thinks lint rollers are wasteful, not so green, bad plastic, not cost-efficient, whatever. (Oh, yeah, right, they just want you to buy THEIR product instead of Scotch 3M's.) No more rollers! We have THIS! Their description on their site: "Quickly and effectively removes pet hair from upholstered furniture / You love your pets but not the pet hair they leave behind. With sticky roller sheets, you can go through a lot of sheets. And vacuum cleaners are not designed to clean up messy pet hair. Fortunately, there's a fast and easy way."

OH PRAISE THE HEAVENS!!! I needed a faster and easier way to prove I'm not a terrible housekeeper! What do you have for me, Pledge? Well, what they have is a handy-dandy cool gizmo that traps the hair in so you never even have to touch it or deal with it at all!! Cool! When the chamber-thing is full-ish or the rollers aren't so picky-uppy anymore, simply toss the thing in the ocean. OK, OK, you aren't really throwing it in the ocean. It'll live in a landfill. Or maybe end up in the ocean anyway. This thing is nowhere near recyclable. And, it's full of hair. (which actually has many GOOD uses instead of plastic-trapped landfill filler.) When I first saw this product, I automatically assumed you could empty the chamber and keep using the rollers. See, I assumed that because it was a logical assumption. WRONG. SC Johnson even states right on the webpage: "Do not wash or rinse rollers. Do not try to empty or disassemble disposable sweeper." Nope. Don'tchoo worry yer purty lil' head. Just throw it away! I saw a loved one get around this a little by cutting a door in the top of the thing to empty it, thus extending its life a little longer... but in the end, I cannot get behind this thing. Is it because I'm fine with pet hair in my home? Is it because I don't mind lugging out the vacuum instead? Do I love my pet more than people who need to clean up the hair? (Of COURSE NOT on that last one.) Are we trying to be "too" clean in our hermetically-sealed homes? If  your couch is so precious, put a blanket down for the pet in question. Blankets get washed. No hair. If you are so terribly upset by so much hair, why do you have a dog or cat? I understand, Pledge/SC Johnson are preying on some serious fears and phobias out there, but I stand up to say, "NO. I am OK with pet hair. I do not need a plastic disposable solution to pet hair. I REJECT your product, Mr. SC Johnson, A Family Company."

I do respect that people want to keep their homes cleaner than do I. I simply feel we need to open our eyes to alternatives, because "fast and easy" has gotten us into a bad, bad mess. 

And I don't see SC Johnson cleaning up any of THAT mess... just see them contributing to it.