While We're On It....

YoCrunch. "Pack some fun in their lunch!"

Fine. It's yogurt. And pure sugar, but oh well, who cares about that. Let's go ahead with these, because, after all, with everything I am talking about, we are running out of stuff to put in kids' lunches. So let's go with these.

Use them for adult snacks and lunches too. And at home, after school. They are very convenient. And fun.

So... one for me, one for the kid, maybe not every day, but OK we have more than one kid and all kids have to have the same lunches or havoc will ensue so let's go ahead and buy three 4-packs to partially get us through the week. They were on sale. We'll go through them in a few days. That's 12 of the bottom part and 12 of the top part. 24 pieces of not-getting-recycled plastic into the landfill, ocean, whatever. From one family. Multiply by millions. Multiply THAT by - we'll be conservative - 2 days a week times 52.

I've done the math. You go ahead. I'll be over here. I'm done.

Fail. You Fail. On Every Level.

If you give these to your children, you fail. On every possible level. As a parent, as a human. There are more levels, I am sure. You fail on all of them.

Just, flat-out, plain big fail.

Where to start? The packaging? The preservatives? The sugar, the sodium??? The lack of real nutrition? The packaging? Oh, I said that already. The packaging? Darn it! I said that!

Woo hoo. TWO candy bars inside. What a deal.

Cheese and ham that doesn't need to be refrigerated? Ick! No preservatives there, I am aure. Hawaiian Punch? Why don't you just give 'em an IV of high fructose corn syrup when they wake up in the morning? The pizza ones are disgusting as well. Oh yum, pizza you don't cook! What a treat! Seriously, I got nauseous looking at the different kinds! And this is just the one brand. There are more. Because they sell. Because people buy them. Stop. Buying. Them.

The excuse for sending these to school for lunch - I can't come up with one. There is nothing anyone can say to make me think this is an appropriate lunch for a growing child. School lunches, as bad as people say they are, have to be better than this. As a snack at home?? FAIL.

We wonder why our kids have health problems and attention deficit issues and weight problems. I don't wonder. It's kind of super obvious. How can their brains develop in health when they are ingesting this crap? A treat? A reward? They like them so you buy them for them because otherwise they pitch a fit? "But my kids like them."

Fail.

Yeah yeah yeah, it's easy for me to say all this because I don't have kids.

Right. I made a choice because I felt I might not do it right, and I didn't want to risk a human to try that experiment, that would have been selfish. So, the quicker these NEVER sell, the better. The faster they get pulled from all shelves because of lack of sales, the happier we all should be. Of course, they have so many preservatives that they won't go bad before too long, but still. Give them to convicted rapists or convicted child molesters. There. That works. Let their health go to hell because of lazy foods. Convenience.

KIDS are NOT convenient. Surely you knew that before you had them. No? Fail.

Convenient Gardening with MiracleGro Gro-ables!

Yeah. I know. Honestly, you'd think I'd be all over this. Making it easier for people to grow food? Encouraging gardening? What's bad about that? Two words: Miracle-Gro.

(Wait. Does hyphenating a word make it one word not two? I digress.)

Gro-ables seed pods. "Plant, Water, Enjoy!" Guaranteed to grow! Yeah that's what you get with GMOs, isn't it? Nature-proof plants. No weeding? Is that because of the Roundup you genetically engineered in?

So here's my problem with this convenient gardening: Follow the bouncing ball and it leads you right to Monsanto's doorstep. Didn't know Miracle-Gro was owned by Monsanto? Easy.... "The global family of Scotts Miracle-Gro brands provides a wide-range of consumer lawn care and gardening solutions. You can learn more about our trusted industry-leading brands by visiting the Web sites below."

Global Consumer - U.S.: Scotts, Miracle-Gro, Ortho, Roundup, Wild Bird Food, Osmocote, Scotts LawnService

The dead give-away there is Roundup. We know that for sure is Monsanto. So there ya go. See:

©2002-2013, Monsanto Company, Worldwide Rights Reserved (Roundup Product Images). Roundup, Roundup and Design, Roundup Extended Control and X Design, FastAct and Pump 'N Go are trademarks of Monsanto Technology LLC.

Oh, Silly. It's just Agent Orange. 

Are these heirloom seeds? Um, doubtful. Are they genetically modified? Possible. Nothing saying they aren't on the site. Are they propagating Monsanto seeds about the neighborhoods? Definitely. DO NOT be fooled by these little friendly innocent oh-so-easy little convenient kits! I feel like we are losing! Please, pass this information around. We have to start pushing back, or we are going to be lost. 

Looking at their site, their FAQs, it actually scares me how much, how many words and terms are trademarked. 

I Can't Go On - Ultimate in Lazy

There are some products out there that still, with all I've seen, still cannot believe. Still. It's me. I need to not be surprised by stuff anymore.

Easter eggs. Fun for kids! Fun even for adults! I used to love it! With a little tiny bit of extra effort, it can even be a very natural process. And when you actually EAT the eggs... well, there ya go.

Who has time for all that?? Spending quality time with the kids before a major holiday? Hell no! There's WAY too much to do. That's not why we had kids! To spend TIME with them? Doing something as silly as coloring eggs? We have to work! We have to cook, clean, bust ass for visiting relatives! Coloring eggs? Oh would that we could do that, but it's so MESSY and we already have SO much cleaning to do already!

Never fear! Convenience is here!

For only 6 bucks, just a few bucks more than really good organic eggs, you can get them already colored, safely ensconced in plastic, no muss no fuss!

That's pretty much it. I got nuthin'. It's too ridiculous to even go on. I'm out.

Two, Two Wastes in One!

Oh good. SHEW. I was worried we didn't have enough microwaveable lunch products. I thought maybe we were running out. Not to worry! Barilla has come out with THEIR own version of the healthy Microwaveable Meal. Just 1 minute to prepare! 100% natural ingredients and no preservatives.

(By the by, arsenic is 100% natural. So is mercury. Just sayin'.)

Women's Health even named the Whole Grain Fusilli with Vegetable Marinara on of the "Best Packaged Foods for Women"! Yay.

Thanks to the blog I grabbed this image from. Please stop.

Naturally, because I had to share, I checked them out all over the place. They are even worse than originally believed. See, not only do you have the non-recyclable #5 bowl for the pasta, you get a SECOND smaller bowl for the sauce!

One bowl thrown into the Gyre is not enough for some people. Two is ever so much better.

We should eat these every day. They're so healthy and so... so... what's the word?

Oh yeah. Convenient.

Does it ever feel like we're taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back, or is that just me?

We can't take away all the plastic we've added to our environment. What's here is never going away. All we can do is NOT add any more! But factories in China have to keep making, we have to keep buying, and the oceans get to keep filling. Please stop. What sucks is, even if we stopped THIS SECOND, right now, while you are reading, I fear it's a long way back from the edge. Or we went over the edge. I don't know. All I know is we HAVE to STOP.

What is it going to take?

The Spoon's Included.

I'm sure they're delicious. I'm sure they're wonderful. I'm SO glad we get to experience a fruit that is otherwise a pain in the ass to eat. Completely inconvenient. You know, if it weren't for this wonderful new product, some people would never even get to experience a pomegranate! And that's surely a crime!

Maybe some people just are not meant to eat pomegranates. Yeah, those little messy seeds are really special and tasty and good for you, but maybe if you aren't into dealing with the mess of the fresh fruit, maybe you don't deserve to eat them. But wait... Pom Wonderful has stepped in, so never fear! Pom Poms Fresh Arils are here for you! Their pricey drinks must not have been making quite enough for them, so now for a limited time you can buy your mess in plastic, and then since you are hooked, you can buy their beverages the rest of the year. So healthy! And you know, that company cares lots about you and your health, so they have made it easy and clean and CONVENIENT for you to get your pom on.

Small or large, nice lid so you don't have to eat them all at once (and it's shaped like a real pomegranate! So clever! Cute!), and the SPOON is INCLUDED! Because, you know, grabbing a spoon and having to wash it might render you incapable of eating this product. Here's a great review from their site: "So glad I found these! I have always loved eating pomegranates, but hate the hassle and the stain that the inner skin leaves on your hands is annoying. I found these in my local HEB store and bought them. I am RUNNING back to get more. They are a perfect snack while working at the office and they won't break your calorie goals for the day!" 

Well, THANK GOODNESS you don't have to stain your poor little hands anymore. And THANK YOU for running out and buying more of these so that YOU can put more plastic into our oceans. Thank you so much for being so clueless that you have to put more trash into the place that we all share.

I knew a person, saw her every day. She never read my blog. I could tell, because every silly product I wrote about inevitable showed up in her house when she discovered them on her own. I would bet my first-born's life she has these in her fridge. (Hahah, I don't have any kids. But still. This product IS in her fridge. I just know it.)

Bottom line: Don't freakin' eat these. If you can't deal with the "mess" of the real fruit, do the rest of us and the planet and all the life in the sea a favor and Just. Skip. It. I'm sure you'll survive. But we won't. And that cancer and whatever else is going to happen to us because of all the chemicals leached into the world from the plastic from the spoon that isn't getting recycled because you just had to have your stupid seeds... won't matter you ate pomegranates for your health. You're screwed and thank you for bringing the rest of us down with you. Thank you. I'm so appreciative of your selfish lifestyle and your need to put this garbage in my world. I can only hope they are too pricey and they won't sell well enough to come back next year, but then realize all the product that doesn't sell, just expires... where does that go?

Quaker Oatmeal - Made So Convenient

Uh oh, You know what THAT word means...

Not even sure where I saw these. But... hot cereal, Quaker Oatmeal Real Medleys, in convenient and easy single serve cups, just add hot water. Oh, let me guess. The cups are plastic. Yeah, buddy. Get 'em in a 12-pack so you can REALLY get the plastic out there!

PepsiCo owns Quaker, just in case you didn't know. And, you know, they make this great product just for us! Because they care SO MUCH! They even pin it right on women in their press release: "Today, women are busier than ever before, and in the morning time crunch, a nourishing breakfast is either skipped or sacrificed for food that's convenient, but maybe not as desirable," said Andrew Sutherland, Senior Director of Marketing, Quaker Foods & Snacks North America. "New Quaker Real Medleys are perfect for women who want to start their mornings with a wholesome and delicious oatmeal breakfast that adds a little extra flavor and fun in a convenient, portable cup."

When, oh when, pray tell, are we going to get off the notion that we are SO busy that we have carte-blanche to trash the planet? Are we ever going to realize that this is NOT the thing to do? That actions matter? That if you have/want kids, maybe you should stop trashing their home? That throwing something "away" just means it goes somewhere you don't see? That we can't keep going like this??? I've said it before, I'll say it again: I might give a pass if, with all our busy-busy-busy, we were actually doing anything POSITIVE in the world, or, if with all our time-saving conveniences, we were making the world a better place.... But, news flash... we're so not.

I'll keep pointing out the stupidity and harmfulness of these things til I run out of products.

I don't think I have to worry about running out of products any time soon.

A reviewer on Amazon pointed out that the cups aren't even the #1 or 2 plastic. They are made from 7. & is not easily recycled yet. So... until such time as communities have the wherewithal to recycle #7, where do we think these cups are going? In some *convenient* holding facility to just sit there and collect and wait til the technology is in place and someone really really can't wait to get their hands on them? NO. They are going in landfills and the OCEANS. PERIOD.

Ugh. I'm done, I can't even say anymore about it. It just never ends. I'm completely overwhelmed at the thought of the millions of these cups entering the trash stream for no good reason at all. Can we just stop?

There is so much sugar and so many chemicals in them and calories and crap that they aren't really even that healthy. And boiling hot water in a #7 plastic cup? Let me think about what is leaching into your oh-so-convenient healthy oatmeal.

Think about that, then go get pregnant, and eat more. Then come talk to us when your child has cancer.

Harsh?

Yeah? What's your point?

Choosy Moms Choose... Convenience?

Apparently.

I have to laugh, because I know that there are people out there who KNOW my head flew off when that commercial came on. "The same great Jif taste in a convenient snack size that's perfect for dipping!" Oh look, there's my favorite word. So, let's check out this product: peanut butter that we KNOW is way too packed with sugar to be healthy, and even in the larger "home" container, it's in plastic... but now, it's in even smaller plastic. Because it needs to be convenient and you need to take it with you! I won't even mention the fact that there are 22 grams of fat in each tiny little pack.

(Oh, wait, I did. Oops.)

Now, a slightly more creative person, one who is - you know - choosy, might actually think that if you really need to take peanut butter out and about with you, that you can just take it out of the large jar already in you home and place it into smaller containers that can be, oh, I don't know, washed and re-used again another time? Well, THAT'S just silly, because, well, think about it... then you have to wash a knife or a spoon, you have to rely on that container finding its way back home, and THEN you have to wash that too! The horror! Who has time for THAT? By all means, let's pay more for the convenience of creating extra garbage. We don't have enough of that in the world. Who wants to take the extra time to plan a lunch, or a snack? The awesome people at the J. M. Smucker company have taken care of the pesky details for you, because of course they care SO much about YOUR time and YOUR well-being.

We're not moving forward with any of this. All I see are more conveniences popping up all around, because we sure as hell don't have time to do anything once we have brought the kids into the world. And we can't stop and do what really is the right thing. Just keep going. Keep shoving the kids into the SUV's and shoving the fat-packed fast and convenient crap into their mouths. Because that's how we support a successful, viable, sustainable future. Yep, we are definitely heading in the right direction here. Get the jelly packs in separate plastic containers and pack the bread in individual plastic Ziplock bags, because you wouldn't want anything to get soggy or anything to touch anything else until right before you eat half of it and throw the rest away...

Yeah. We're definitely progressing.

We Can't Make Our Own Damn Meatballs??

Here's the story from 7/8/12 on msnbc.com:

Meatball company recalls 300,000 pounds of meat over listeria risk -By Lily Kuo

(Reuters) - A New Jersey meatball manufacturer is recalling more than 300,000 pounds (136,000 kg) of meat products due to possible listeria contamination, the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service said on Saturday.

Bridgeton, New Jersey-based Buona Vita Inc was recalling about 324,770 pounds of frozen, ready-to-eat meat and poultry products produced in May, including meatballs, chicken and beef patties, and loafs of chicken and beef, the agency said in a written statement.

The FSIS described the health risk related to the recall as "high," according to the statement.

Representatives for Buona Vita, which says on its website that it produces 200,000 pounds (90,000 kg) of meatballs a day, could not immediately be reached for comment.

The possible contamination was discovered through testing by FSIS and the Ohio Department of Agriculture, the FSIS statement said. There have been no reports of illness related to the company's products, it added.

Listeria bacteria thrive in low temperatures. Outbreaks are usually associated with deli meats, unpasteurized cheeses and smoked refrigerated seafood products. Listeriosis has a long incubation period, with symptoms sometimes not showing up until two months after people consume tainted foods. Symptoms include fever and muscle aches, sometimes preceded by diarrhea and other gastric problems.

(c) Copyright Thomson Reuters 2012

Here's my first thought: quit buying pre-made meatballs. Mom used to make a whole big batch of meatballs at once from scratch, cooking them then freezing them, so they were ready to use any time. It didn't take long. It was surely more economical to buy bulk ground meat. It was very surely better because we knew every ingredient that went in there. How many preservatives and other crap are in these frozen foods, besides the Listeria of course?

200,000 pounds of meatballs a day??? How lazy are we? And STOP with the "I don't have time, frozen is more convenient" crap. I don't buy it. LOOK at what happens when we rely on our conveniences. We get Listeria outbreaks. Was it worth it? Was the 30 minutes every few weeks you saved worth it? NOPE.

These problems go away when we grow our own food, make our own food, buy locally, and cook once in a damn while. Make your own meatballs, people.

SO Last Century

Per Swiffer, broom and dustpan are SO last century. Yes, that is an ad I caught for them one day on TV. Broom and dustpan. Old technology. We've progressed beyond such old-fashioned things. Brooms. Mops. Snort. We can't possibly expect to get our hands near water or have to bend over or work in any way, shape, or form. Swiffer and its ilk are easy. Convenient. And the chemicals in the cleaner do the tough stuff for you.

You know what else is so last century?? Lower rates of obesity. Lower occurrence of childhood cancer. Less plastic in the ocean. Less trash in the landfills.

But by all means, let us choose the method of cleaning that keeps us lazy and fat, and puts chemicals in the environment, and plastic into the oceans. Get those newfangled wet-jet disposable things for every aspect of your cleaning regimen, and gleefully throw away cleaning pads that last for one small room before you need to get a new cleaning-product-soaked plastic-backed thing for the next room. Never mind that steam cleans great, no chemicals needed. Don't give it a second thought that sometimes a good "old-fashioned" hands-and-knees cleaning is just what was needed. Pay no attention to the fact that these things really do not clean all that well, and you find you get crap building up in corners that you have to hit on hands and knees anyway, and that your pets and children get that chemical assault right in their faces all day long after you "cleaned".

Don't worry about that. Convenience is key. You go ahead and be easy like Sunday Morning.

I like my steam clean and I don't mind the hands and knees method (works a LOT better) and I don't mind getting my hands wet or dirty. Heck, I use cleaning as core exercises. Ever throw your core into vacuuming? It's amazing. Beats paying for a gym membership any day. We used to be thinner when housework was not so easy and convenient.

Coincidence?

Applesauce on the Go

Packets of applesauce kids just squeeze into their mouth? How fun! Me: What do you do with the package when finished? Them: We're partnered with TerraCycle, have you heard of them? Me: Yes, actually, they are a great company, that's cool.

I take a sample and walk on. I'm far from sold, but, you know, I play it all cool. For the next few days, I just stare at it. Should I try it? 100% fruit, no refined sugar. No spoon, no mess! No preservatives, no artificial flavors, no gluten, dairy, nut, or even BPA.

After pondering this product for days, I finally pop the little sealed yellow cap and squeeze. It's a little fun. I feel like a kid. I can see how this would appeal to kids. Apple-Banana. So much more fun than a boring old REAL banana. And eww when you cut an apple they get all brown by lunch.

Tasty? Eh. It somehow tasted fake even though all it is, is real ingredients. Maybe I'm just spoiled by knowing what a real apple should taste like, or applesauce made right in my very own crock pot. Maybe I've never had apple and banana mixed together. Maybe I just don't want it to taste great? Maybe some of the other flavors are better? Do kids like these??? Of course they do. They're FUN!

So... yay or nay? Well, nay of course. Duh - don't you know me by now??? TerraCycle is great, but are they getting every single GoGo pack when it's done? Or is it sometimes just easier to throw it away? Sometimes? I mean, sometimes you just are not near a TerraCycle can. Sometimes, just sometimes, a garbage can is much handier. It's just a little thing. One won't hurt anything.

Until you realize how that scenario plays out a million times or so.

Hip, cool, trendy, convenient, no mess no fuss... whatever. I'll never understand. I'll never get why, if you plan on having a family, that you don't realize everything will be harder, messier, and more time-consuming, but the whole point is that your progeny are able to have a nice place to live, too. I mean, who says, yeah, I want to have kids so they can grow up on a ruined planet and their kids can have cancer? When we don't pay attention to what we KNOW is happening around us, I feel like that is exactly what we are saying.

Are these GoGos ruining the planet? Of course not. It's the mentality that is behind them that is.

Give the kid a damn real apple already. Only, be careful, it was probably force-ripened on its way to you because it's not in season where you live. Just because this product is All Natural doesn't mean it's All Good.

Whose Healthy Choice?

ConAgra does it again. Yummy, delicious, natural, and most importantly, convenient!!! Healthy Choice has a great healthy choice for you for lunch! Healthy Choice 100% Natural No Preservatives frozen meal. Vegetarian. Pumpkin Squash Ravioli. All natural, pronounceable ingredients. Only 310 calories. What a great meal. So healthy.

For... whom? Well, for us, to eat, of course. What can be bad about this? Surely, nothing! No weird bad chemicals. No artificial flavors or colors or preservatives. Must be great... except... except for the lovely crap from the plastic tray leaching into your food as it steams in the microwave. We quite frankly have NO idea what could be coming outta that tray and into your food. Remember when we didn't know what BPA was? (Of course, there are plenty who STILL don't know... SIGH) To think it's fine, perfectly safe... I find that short-sighted.

Seriously. Can we stop pretending and believing that anything that comes packaged in plastic and frozen and conveniently prepares in the microwave so we never have to step away from our cubicles for lunch is ANYTHING but RIDICULOUS? I know, I know, we are SO busy that this really is the best way to handle lunch. I know, I know, we can't be bothered to actually MAKE something over the weekend to freeze and package and take to lunch all week. That would require... well, time. It's really SO LITTLE plastic that surely, we can give it a pass, right? And after all, we'll recycle it!

(No matter that it still takes OIL to produce the plastic in the first place...)

Will we? The un-Healthy-er Choice regular black trays are a #1 or #2. I cannot recall, and since I don't buy them, I can't look. These white trays in the super healthy natural "meal" are a #5. Not many municipalities do anything with this type of plastic yet. Again, my old tired recording, just because you throw it in the bin doesn't mean it gets recycled. If there is not enough money in recycling a particular plastic - if it is more costly to recycle it than it is worth afterwards, it is NOT getting recycled. That is currently the case with anything over #2, so far as I know right now.

So, I inquire: How is this a healthy choice? Healthy for us? Healthy for the planet? Who?

Doesn't matter. These will still be out there, they will still be bought, we are not going stop. It's really getting to the point where we truly deserve what we get.

Just wish the rest of us weren't getting dragged down, too.

Drink WAT-AAH Part 2

Yeah. I did it. I was at the Natural Products Expo West, and, walking about, I spied a company I had previously pretty much trashed in a blog entry 2 years ago. (http://goodgreenwitch.blogspot.com/2010/07/trick-kids-into-drinking-more-water.html) Sure, I had a moment when I thought I would just sneer and walk past, but then something came over me, and I walked right up to the lady there at the big colorful booth for WAT-AAH and flat-out stated, "Hi. I trashed your product in my blog." She exclaimed, "WHY would you do that??" We laughed (because I really actually AM a nice person), and had a very nice talk for the next 10 minutes or so.

I told her that I did not think bottled water aimed at kids was necessary, and that it set a dangerous example for later in life. She pointed out how their company attempts to get kids to get excited about drinking healthy water over soda or sugary juices and sports drinks. Valid. Going back to my original post, I did actually give them credit for that. (Shocking - I DID research before writing. Ha!) She pointed out their Healthy Hydration Program. I went to their site to read more about it, but the immediate noises that come up when you get there sets me off every time. And then my computer hung up anyway. Seems Google Chrome wasn't fond of the site either. It's a valid program. Good ideas. Kids SHOULD drink water instead of crappy sugary high-fructose-corn-syrupy things. I agree. She said their product has no flavor, sugar, or color, and they rely on fun colors on the bottles and fun to attract kids. She told me a bit about their Juvenile Diabetes Event. OK, they are a pretty into-it company, for sure. Good stuff.

They have great intentions. And the woman I spoke with, Carol (the owner, it turns out), was a very nice very lovely lady. Do they get a pass?

Mmmmm.... no. Sorry, Carol. I know you tried.

I cannot get behind any single-use plastic bottle usage. Are there situations when they are a necessity? Probably. But the 'fridge at home is not one of them. Running around with the kids is NOT one of them, much as parents like to say it is. Sporting events? No, not really. Why don't kids have reusable bottles with their names on them on the sidelines? How many half-empty bottles of this stuff gets picked up at the end of the game, how many kids grabbed another and half-drank it because they lost track of their original one? How much waste??? "Well, we recycle them." Um, no, we don't. We throw them in a bin and feel great about ourselves, but in reality, it is a giant crap-shoot that any of them actually get recycled, or really, down-cycled. More likely, they are contributing to the Giant Plastic Problem we have. Should we be avoiding plastic bottles as much as possible instead? Heck yah. Just because bottles no longer have BPA in them, does that mean there are not still unknown chemicals leeching out into that water that your precious angels are drinking? Mmm hmm. Remember a few years ago when we were ignorant of BPA? Think that can't happen again with another chemical? Mmm hmmm. It is seriously short-sighted to not think about that.

I also went back to read the comments from that earlier post. Apparently, bottled water strikes a nerve when it hits parents in the Big Convenience. I'm including here most of what a Dad said (not edited):

"I read you're blog because Im a Dad with a child that drinks WAT-AAH! all the time. I also make sure to re-use the bottles we buy whenever we can - and of course, we also recycle them.
Im as environmentally conscious as the next guy but I gotta say, reading this blog, Im betting you dont have kids. Nieces and nephews maybe, but not your own. I dont say that as a dig, but when you're running around town and your kids really thirsty and he or she can pick from one of the 400 bottles (plastic bottles) of sugary syrup or this water brand, I'm more than happy to throw down to encourage that decision."

I replied very nicely and with a conciliatory tone, but you know what? I've changed my mind. I already covered the part where throwing them in a bin does not recycling assure. And when you are "running around town," did you NOT think ahead that perhaps at some point your little joys would perhaps, oh, I don't know, get thirsty and plan accordingly? Or do you find yourself having to BUY stuff, because you couldn't be bothered to plan ahead? How about getting your kids in the habit to grab their own reusable bottles as you all head out to go buy stuff? (Wow, Green Witch, what a good idea!) No, I don't have kids. And hey there! Your having kids, by the way, is NOT an excuse to trash the planet I also happen to enjoy. If anything, you should be even more careful and more responsible. Heck, I should be the one gleefully trashing it. But lookit that: I am not.

I pointed out to Carol (who really IS a great lady, I felt good about meeting her, and I really did digest all the things she took the time to tell me) that perhaps giving young kids these throw-aways was setting them up for bad habits into adulthood. She disagreed, feeling that kids who drank WAT-AAH grew up to be more responsible. Meh... I have to think I might be closer to the mark. Yes, WAT-AAH is a better choice than the other things in this picture here, but we SURE as heck do NOT need bottled water in the fridge or cupboards at home. There are no Earth-shattering emergencies that come along every random day that require this. A typical Summer day does NOT need the child running into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle like this. Run in and grab your personal bottle, great. But not this. Not the regular size, not the cute little size, no, this is not remotely necessary. While "running around" is not necessary. It really just isn't. Period.

Plus, they were downing them at the booth during the Expo. I know, it's all about showing how you use your own product... but yeah. Not so much. How many empty bottles after a weekend... and for what?

For what?

Convenience.

Yup.

I'm pretty sure we had sports and run-around days way back before the plastic bottle craze. And, funny, we're still here. We didn't die of thirst. Oh - and how funny, we didn't have nearly the obesity and diabetes that we have in kids now. How ever did we manage, you know, with Life being SO darned... inconvenient?

Your Right to Convenience

You have the right to have convenience. You have the right to make garbage. You have the right to waste water. You can do whatever you gull-durn please. If you want to triple-plastic-bag your leaky chicken at the grocery store, by good-goddamn it is your right to do so. You want to have a baby, and gosh-darn it, you are going to use plastic diapers, because gosh-darn it, you are going to be tired, and you know what? Shit stinks. And YOU do not want to have to deal with that.

Umm... yuck.

Yeah, I heard that from my own step-daughter. She NEVER planned to use cotton diapers, and now she IS pregnant. Even though the "disposable" ones (quotes on that, because they are NOT disposable, they are just moved away from YOU to another place) are bad for the planet, bad for the kid, bad for... well, ME. Yeah. They are getting added in to MY world. Why don't I have a say in that? Because YOU must have your convenience? Even though you KNOW babies poop and it smells bad, but you are going to have one anyway, but the rest of us have to revolve around that? What about OUR rights to a clean planet? No? Nuthin'? Not so much?

So you have the right to use plastic. And you don't think the government should step in and ban plastic bags, because that is an infringement of your rights, and, after all, where will it end?? You know - smokers as the same thing... no smoking on the beaches, public places, what's next? You're own home? Yes, actually, in some towns you cannot even smoke in your own back yard. Because smoking hurts people other than the smokers. Well, guess what - your water waste is hurting those who DON'T waste. Because, just like we share the air, and you don't want to smell their cigarette smoke, we share the water, and I want to have mine around to use when I want, and since I use it responsibly, YOU should too. But you don't. So we have to put bans and limits on water usage sometimes. But guess what? I have to follow the same bans and limits, even though I wasn't the problem.

Likewise, because YOU can't be bothered to ease up on the plastic, MY Earth is polluted, even though I have been enjoying it responsibly. Your gross dirty diapers are in my environment, even though I had nothing to do with them. But there they are.

So, I ask again: where does your right for convenience end, and my right for a healthy planet begin? It doesn't seem to matter, so long as things are easy for the masses.

Man, I would LOVE an answer to that one...

Pure Chicken-y Goodness, Individually.

"Perdue Introduces Chicken That's Perfect For Everyone"

Really? How so? Perfect, because your chickens are mass-farmed? Given growth hormones for more attractive breasts? Given antibiotics? Is that what makes this chicken perfect?

"Each piece of chicken breast cooks quickly and evenly, in only 10 minutes. Additionally, each portion is individually wrapped making it extra convenient to cook the desired amount and easily store the remainder in a reclosable bag for later use."

Ooooohh.... THAT'S why it's perfect. Look - right up there - my favorite word. "Convenient." So... chicken, wrapped in plastic, wrapped in MORE plastic. Um, why, exactly? Let me guess: so we don't have to break them apart. Because we don't have time to mess with separating stuff. Because there's no good reason to prepare more food to have leftovers for lunches or another dinner. Um... wait, I'm still trying... Oh, because everyone is so picky that we have to fix different things. Because, umm... because.... I got this, I swear I do... nope. I got nuthin'. I can really truly seriously not think of one really good really valid reason that we "need" this and what makes it perfect and why anyone would buy it. Admittedly, I avoid Perdue. I eat chicken, I love chicken, chicken yummy. But I prefer mine from small, local, sustainable farms. (It tastes far better, too.) I'm pretty sure most everyone should avoid Perdue. But definitely really, REALLY avoid this. There is no reason for this. The best thing is to get this out of the marketplace as soon as possible. In fact, feel free to express your displeasure directly:

By Phone:	1-800-4-PERDUE® (1-800-473-7383) Monday - Friday, 9:30 am to 6 pm EST
By Post:	Perdue Farms P.O. Box 1656 Horsham, PA 19044-6656

Better Than An Apple

Here I go again. Trashing an otherwise perfectly respectable, pretty much good-for-you product. What is WITH me?

I recently attended the Natural Products Expo. It is a super cool event, filled (really filled, that event is HUGE!) with so much natural stuff one hardly knows where to turn. However, from the first second hitting the floor, I had to remind myself this was a "natural products" gig and NOT a green event, per se. The two ought to go hand in hand, yes I agree, but this is not the case. And that's that... you can't quite call it greenwashing here... Oh I wanted to... but you can't quite.

Case in point: the first display I saw. VitaTops. Apparently these things are great for losing weight and are wonderfully healthy and oh so delicious. Everyone loves them, they have all kinds of seals of approval... GREAT. Super. Wonderful. What stopped me dead in my tracks was this huge sign on their display that said, "Better than an apple!" Dead serious. My immediate reaction was, "In what world??? Plasticland???" While these delicious little morsels are the perfect size and calorie count, they are all perfectly wrapped in individual perfect plastic pouches. Yes, that IS much better than an apple. Not. What's the dead giveaway? What's the phrase that jumps out in a warning? The very first thing they say under the VitaTop's product page is: "VitaTops. Deliciously Convenient."

"No time for your vitamin-fortified cereal this morning? Tired of chewing yet another nutritional bar, but still want your vitamins and minerals and 4-9g fiber with very little fat?" Really? This is what we've come to? Yeah, I know, I'm not really surprised either. (Nutritional bars are hard to chew??) How lazy are we. No, that is not a question. I know we are. Chewing is hard work. So is exercise and eating right. Hard hard work. Convenience is definitely the key to losing weight.

So, anyway, this is a good and quality product. I'm sure it is. I'm totally overreacting. Come on. Is there no other way to package it? None? No? Then it has to go in the "reject" pile. Because this is not cool. You cannot recycle these wrappers. They just end up in the ocean. And why? What for? Because eating right is just too plain hard and inconvenient, and we are all too fat and have to lose weight, and damn the consequences to our children's children?

That's what I thought.

You Got Your Garbage in My Almond Butter!

Just one more example of sliding backwards. One step forward, two steps back. I would be wholeheartedly for this product. In fact, I'm sure it's an awesome healthy thing. Almond butter instead of peanut butter. Yum, good, fine, wonderful. Whatev's. But please sell it in a wonderful glass jar, you know, the way peanut butter used to be sold before greed and convenience really caught hold?

But, alas, no. We need even more convenience than plastic jars. We need on-the-go, super-spiffy wonderfully convenient, single-serve SQUEEZE packs. I wish I was kidding. Can someone please explain this to me? Can someone let me know why this is even a product we "need" in our lives? Is it so much to have to think ahead and pack a little cup of this stuff from the larger jar at home? Are we so far gone we can't think around THIS? Do we really need to add this kind of trash to the mounds out there? Do we need to applaud the amount of resources it takes to manufacture and fill these stupid little things? Do we have to be able to whip our almond butter out of a cute little pocket? Do we need to teach our kids to get used to these things?

Apparently.

I got nuthin' for this one. Just... and I know, I am the one introducing them to y'all... boo for me, I really did wrestle with that one, but I feel the evils of the world need to be seen so we can recognize them for what they are. "It's just a little thing.. no big deal, G-Dub." (my new nick-name!) But, these are ALL little things that add up in a big way. But back to the "just..." Just DON'T buy them. And when you see these things, maybe take some names and maybe spend a few minutes a week tossing off an e-mail to these companies, saying, "We don't care for these irresponsible products." It could help.

Maybe not. Sometimes, I think we are too far gone. Give me some hope, someone. I'm fresh out and they don't put that in a super-slick squeezee-pouch.

Duped by DuPont

Non-stick cookware. Revolution of the 20th Century, right? Makes life so easy. So convenient.

For the sake of this conversation, we're going to completely put aside the FACT that Teflon is actually hazardous to human health. That should actually be common knowledge. Unfortunately, we know all too well that knowledge is rarely common. But we are putting that aside. Just type the word "Teflon" in Google, and you'll immediately get results about the dangers.

That aside. We had non-stick stuff, and of course I wanted to go greener in our cookware. Sure, I would love the super-beautiful enameled stuff, a whole big set of it, but it's a little cost-prohibitive. So we started getting regular good old cast iron, nothing fancy, one piece at a time. My husband immediately fell in love with them and takes care of them very well. Better than I, in fact. I admit, I was a little intimidated to start cooking with them myself. "Stuff sticks so bad!" I thought. "Such a mess!" I thought. Then, I cooked an egg.

These pans have been lovingly seasoned the proper way, and I used a touch of butter, which I used in Teflon pans anyway. To my complete surprise, there was NO sticking. Clean-up is not difficult. And the food tastes better and is healthier. I got to thinking, WHY have we turned away from this? Because it's heavy? (Oh boo hoo, we could all use a little more of a freakin' workout, people.) Because it's a pain to clean? (Nope, we're just that lazy.) Because it's a little INCONVENIENT? Bingo. It's not, but that's the bill of goods we were sold. We were told this is what we wanted and what we NEEDED because we are so so busy and oh after all cast iron is SUCH a hassle.

BUT IT'S NOT!!! But we were so easily led astray! We fell for DuPont's marketing for no real good reason whatsoever. They don't care about our time. They don't care about our health. They want profit. Of course they do. And that's all they want. They do not give one good gash darn that you have easier clean-up.

Let's open our eyes!!! Let's stop falling for this crap!!!  

Meanwhile, we are building a nice set of cast iron cookware that we will NEVER have to replace. Oh. look, saving money in the long run, and not adding to the garbage on the planet. How often do we have to replace non-stick? Too often. Oh... and now, we cannot use plastic spatulas etc... bamboo and good old-fashioned metal work nicely. Less plastic for everyone. Good side-effect I had not seen coming.

Why Don't We?

In thinking about the things we use that are disposable, and the things we use that have perfectly good non-throw-away alternatives, I am forced to ask, "Why don't we use those alternatives?"

Are we just used to the disposable lifestyle? If that's the case, can't we re-accustom ourselves to the alternative? Being the Good Green Witch, I am naturally exposed to many other people who embrace a green, sustainable lifestyle. Are they "better" people? Are they more crafty, more organized, have more time than anyone else? No, I don't think so. Do they care or think a little more? Maybe... but I like to think more people care than do not.

I don't have the answers. I'm just feeling my own way around out here. If I had all the answers, I'm sure I would disappear from the face of the Earth. So when I ask, "Why don't we?", I got nuthin'. I know, I know for sure in my heart I just know that we CAN. But we don't. We need to.

We CAN stop using plastic utensils. That's easy. Even if one finds one cannot avoid them altogether, cutting back is REALLY easy. One just has to put one's mind to it. (Aye, there's the rub?) And paper napkins. Surely, this one is just a matter of convenience. Cloth napkins are so much better. I can't even stand the bleach-chemical smell of some paper napkins anymore. Cloth napkins don't have to be fancy and don't have to be for special use and are very easy to have around. Same thing with hankies. We adjusted VERY quickly to hankies in our home. Now we don't even dream of using a Kleenex. I carry a hankie in my purse, which will nicely double as a napkin if I am caught in a napkin-pinch situation. (Use your imagination on that one if you wish. I'll wait.)

I truly believe that is is just a simple matter of setting our minds to it and doing it. We're a smart group. We can do this. We can form new habits and end bad ones. I know we can.

We have to.

But it's so CONVENIENT!!

I would like to get rid of that word altogether. Why does everything have to be SO convenient? What are we doing with all this extra time we have from everything being so convenient? Are we planting more trees? Are we cleaning more beaches? Are we curing cancer, AIDS, the common cold? Are we combating world hunger? Winning the war on drugs? Stopping teen pregnancy or suicides? Ending depression? Fixing the economy???

Um... nope. Notta one.

Ah, I know. We're working more. We're watching more TV. Both of which cause us to want/buy more convenient stuff so we have more time to work and watch TV.

Can't some stuff still be a challenge, or maybe a wee bit more time-consuming, so that the end result is maybe more worth it or more treasured or ANYTHING? I continue to maintain that the almightly search for convenience has led us down the primrose path. I say to you, whenever you see the word "convenient", be suspicious. Avoid. Run the other way. Some things are still worth DOING. I worry about a world in which everything is so darn convenient that we don't actually DO anything. Why read a book; it's so much more convenient to see the movie they made from it. No movie? Book probably not worth my time then. Why clean something? It's so much more convenient to throw away and buy new. Why use Pyrex or glass? Plastic is so much more convenient. Reusable water bottle? The single-use plastic ones are so much more convenient.

See what I mean? Let's begin treating that word with a little contempt. And spread it around. Teach kids the value of things, not convenience.