I'M BAAACK! Because plastic nonsense never left!

Well, I tried to go away. I really did.

You may have seen these in the grocery store. They hang in random areas for your impulse-buying pleasure.

Seems harmless enough. Ice cream is messy. And OOOO they are BPA-free! NOTHING TO SEE HERE, FOLKS! THERE IS NO BPA! IT'S ALL GOOD! 

Here's a description of a similar product, just so we're clear on the awesomeness of this product: 

Keeps kids' clothes clean by catching the sticky drips from ice cream cones or any frozen treat on a stick. Three products in one: One end holds frozen treats on a stick. Flip the Dripstik over and the other end holds ice cream cones in almost any size and variety. Also makes frozen Popsicle treats! Fill the reservoir with juice, insert the stick attachment, freeze then enjoy! Saves parents time from cleaning up colorful puddles from forgotten desserts. Makes an easy birthday party favor! Serve ice cream without stressing about guests making a mess, then simply send the Dripstik home with them. Perfect for road trips. Indulge your children with stops at ice cream shacks without worrying about the upholstery. Let them get the cone instead of a cup and spoon. Helps disabled or elderly persons, letting them enjoy ice cream with self-sufficiency. Durable, soft plastic is long-lasting and easy-care -- simply pop into the dishwasher! Available in assorted fun kid colors. Made in the USA by a mother of five!

Well there ya go. Totally brilliant, right??? 

Kids are messy. Period. We all know that. We were messy when we were kids. Everyone survived. We dealt with it. Look, I am not completely heartless - I have an aunt that had a stroke and has no use of her left arm, and when we take her for ice cream, it's messy. But you know what? We don't care. We laugh, she laughs, it cleans up. We don't need to introduce plastic crap into the environment just because ice cream is sticky. Because you know what? An ocean without plastic is necessary. We don't have that, but it's necessary. What's not necessary is this thing. This novelty item. This thing that might be used a dozen times, or once, or a hundred, but will ultimately just get thrown away. Into the world. Where it will live forever. And ever and ever. Just so some parent didn't have to worry about her upholstery or wash an extra shirt. Buy a bunch and send them home with all the other kids. So that they can get thrown away even faster. By even more people. And by the way, "Made in the USA by a mother of five" is not a selling point to me. I also don't believe it, it strikes me as misleading. 1) maybe if you didn't have FIVE kids you could handle a little mess here and there instead of polluting the world for the rest of us and 2) is she making these all by hand in the USA? Or does she live in the USA and she thought it up and now they are made in China? What's the deal, here? I need the truth. I can handle the truth. You know what isn't plastic? A fabric bib. A towel. A napkin, for cryin' out loud. Drape something over if you are so concerned about everything. 

Why you gotta pollute the world for the rest of us because you had kids knowing they were messy but then don't want to deal with the mess? Because now I have to deal with your mess. How is that right? Why must the rest of us pay for your convenience?

It's too bad we don't actually stop and think about that. Maybe we can start. Maybe before it's too late. Except that it probably already is. So you have non-sticky kids, but we're killing ourselves with plastic and chemicals and additives. 

But hey! Who cares? My car seats are ice-cream free and THAT is all that matters!

Shock and Awe but in a Good Way

Sometimes a product comes along that surprises me in a good way, leaves me hopeful rather than dismayed... it happens. Such is the case with this Rubbermaid product: LunchBlox. Someone has the right idea for a change.

They are kind of cute, aren't they? Of course, these are based on similar products made of the preferred stainless steel, but I'm actually OK with these. They will last a long time, Rubbermaid is a very high-quality name out there. They are certainly preferable to Saran Wrap and plastic bags.  Look - even a salad is wonderfully.... CONVENIENT: 

They even sell a cute bag, but you don't have to get it, you can use your own. I can see that some parents would think this is too much trouble to send in with the kids, but really, come on, let's stop being lazy and making excuses. New habits are only new for a little. Then they are just good habits. Teach a little responsibility for a change. And these are ideal for office lunch. Especially if you are buying and eating crap on a day to day basis. The blue thing is a cool pack to keep it chilled if you do not have a fridge at work. And insulated bag will keep it all good until lunch time. Microwave, freezer, dishwasher safe, no BPA. I still wouldn't heat it in the microwave, but that's me. And I would use the crap outta these, I wouldn't just use them for a few months then throw them away to buy more. If these can be used for a good long time, then I'm all for it. 

I'm a fan. Thanks, Rubbermaid. I know they make a lot of plastic products, but some of them can be worth a second look. This is a nice bridge product. Every little bit helps? Maybe? 

Juice Sure is Healthy

Ahhh, juice. So good for us. Quite the market for juice these days. All kinds of healthy juices out there. Detox with juice! Cold pressed, high pressure processed juice, just plain old-fashioned simple juice. Organic! Healthy! Names like Naked Juice, Vital Juice. Juice packaged by the soft drink people who don't want to miss out on the market. And aaallllll of them packaged in.... plastic.

Do a juice fast! And drink OUR product all day long for weeks! Who cares if your health concerns trump the planet? I mean, c'mon! Who cares? You can toss them in the recycle bin and it's ALL GOOD! Will the acid in the juice leach out some weird thing like BPA-but-not-BPA-because-we-don't-do-BPA-anymore-because-we-are-SO-enlightened from the plastic? Who knows! We don't even know what's IN plastic! Hell, we didn't know BPA was in there a few years ago. But that's gone, so we're clear here! Who cares that no one really realizes those caps aren't recyclable? Garbage. They're small, they barely add to the landfills. Truly. YOU are doing good for YOUR health and that is ALL that matters!

Oooo - you could go to Jamba Juice every day! That packaging is just fine too! Think of all the lids and straws you get to use! Oh, you could bring a container but you don't have just the right size and they don't really do that anyway and well that's just too inconvenient, you would have to actually WASH it out and remember it all the time. Bummer. Don't harsh my juicing mellow with your inconveniences, Witch." Sorry.

HPP - high pressure processing - actually required the stuff to go into plastic. YAY! "Our juice is so lovingly prepared and good for you that we HAVE to put it in plastic!" Oh, hey, it's lighter and cheaper to ship, too. Don't forget that. Very important. 

I actually came across a company that only uses glass bottles. DROUGHT Juice refuses to use plastic. Awesome on them.

Why does DROUGHT juice only have a 3-day shelf life? Can I drink my juice past the 72 hour mark?

DROUGHT juice contains no preservatives and is unpasteurized, and therefore is highly perishable.  We employ a cold-pressed juicing process that maximizes the shelf life for up to 3 days (72 hours), but cannot advise consumption of our juice beyond this point.  Each juice is labeled with a 'consume by' date for your convenience.

I would buy THAT juice except what the heck happens with all the unsold product?? Is there a lot of waste in their product line?? They say they limit production and strive for zero-waste, and they are very regional, so it may be believeable. I'd try it.

Look, none of these companies - except maybe DROUGHT - give a crap about your health. They are about profit. Actually, even that one in glass tried to say they are better than juicing at home. Because they cold-press, and your juicer gets ever so slightly warm as it juices. So boo. Oh - and you have to drink yours immediately that you make at home. Uh, yeah. Kind of the point. Save yourself some money, get a juicer, make your own damn juice, and if you have to buy a beverage, get some Kombucha. That's always in glass. STOP being a consumer and do something for yourself. I know it's just not convenient to have to actually MAKE your own juice, and all those thin beautiful women in the juice ads look SO happy and free... with their disposable income and endless supply of juice in their fridge - I know we want to be JUST like them! You know you will be if you just drink the same product!

Make sure you keep buying bottled water too. It'd be a shame to not double down on your plastic usage. You can't do your own juice, why should I think you spend a few seconds avoiding the single-use plastic for your water?

Fasts, cleanses, washes... whatever. These companies want you to drink - what? - 4 or more bottles of their product a day? Effing irresponsible to use that much plastic. For a few weeks? Do us all a favor and stick with your GMO soy processed food diet. And please think twice or three times about procreating. Because if you think it's fine to go ahead and use that much plastic, selfishly, for your little cleanse, then who knows what plastics you will subject the rest of us too with your offspring.

We already know you need things to be convenient, right?

Pasta Me Now

That's the tagline for a product for all those who find life just way too hectic to make pasta. Thank GOODNESS someone came along to shave 4-6 minutes off my pasta time. SHEW!

New World Pasta Company offers this products under 3 different names, I guess depending on where you live. Ronzoni, San Giorgio, and Prince all give you Pasta Portions. Curly elbows, penne, or rotini. Quick, easy, dare I say convenient? See, the pasta comes in a perfect portion for one in a self-straining pouch, just drop it in boiling water for 3 minutes.Just drop that plastic pouch in the water and 3 minutes later pull it on out and there ya go. Hell, you saved valuable time there not actually pouring pasta from an actual box and having to wait, oh, SEVEN whole minutes for your pasta to be done. Wow! Revolutionary!

Is it me, or didn't we just pass through this whole BPA thing where it made us think that the heat of, say, like, for example, boiling water caused that bad thing to leach into our food/beverage? I'm not saying there is BPA in these pouches. I'm going to say I'm sure there is not. It's not the proper application for that chemical. But... now bear with me here... there was BPA, what else could there be that we don't quite know about yet? Boiling out into our pasta? Maybe? Maybe, just in case, shouldn't we skip the whole boiling-in-plastic thing? You know, because it's not really necessary anyway?

Is pasta really that hard to cook? I never thought so. We seem to keep inventing things we don't really need. A review: "Great while camping!" Great. You are out camping because, I don't know, you appreciate Nature or some such, but have no qualms about extra non-recyclable just-plain-garbage-into-the-ocean plastic pouch? Why not stand on a sea cliff and just toss it in? Save us all some time? Instant gratification littering?

Each box has 3 great pouches in it. I wonder how much more they charge for these than your average box of actual *loose* pasta... you know, that pain-in-the-ass stuff that is SO inconvenient. I could look it up but I stopped caring about half a sentence ago... ANYWAY... I would laugh if they charge more for this product. I guess it makes up for those 4 minutes you save. 3 pouches per box, you love this stuff at work or for the kids (Geez, do they have to EAT everyday? It's so time-consuming and inconvenient.), and so you get a couple a week. That ads up on a product that has ZERO chance of going anywhere but the landfill or Gyre.

Just so we can have extra chemicals in our pasta. Yum. Line me right up all on up in there.