Comment, though, I did. Silly Rhonda. Silly, silly witch. And after much goings-on back and forth, I was finally told I do not have the feelings a mother does. It would change me.
So I get to thinking, as I frequently do, why I do what I do. Why I give a shit. Why I bother to have compassion at all. After all, I don't even have a womb anymore. What do I care that the world will not be fit for us to inhabit if we don't change? Why should driving down the street and seeing homeless people, forgotten elderly people, litter, stray animals... why should that hurt me every single day? Why should I get choked up every single day about random things? I should not have these feelings; I am not a mother.
Wow.
I can't get around this one. I really can't. I thought writing it out would help, but nope. Why DO I do what I do? What don't I just run around using as much plastic as possible, because, after all, why should I care? I'm not a mother. I should just hang it up.
I'm stuck. I'm stymied. I started to write something else altogether, but I couldn't go on. Oh, I'll get over it, but it may take a few. Days. Hours. Weeks. Dunno. Silly me. I thought I loved too much. I thought loving the whole world was good enough. I thought that mattered.
Apologies for the pity party. I'll buck up soon and be back to snark in no time. Thanks for reading.
Hey its okay to feel the way you do. its normal and you have that right. :)
ReplyDeleteEh, I had your share of the population for you.. so I give you total permission to be a mom, whether you had children or not. Having a nurturing, loving side pretty much does it for ya.
ReplyDeleteYou know... the whole "you're not a mother you wouldn't understand" argument pretty much pisses me off. I hear SOOOO many people out there talking about how parenthood changed them because suddenly they cared about something larger than themselves, and they never felt that way before.
ReplyDeleteMy general response to this is, well... that's great that you now feel some sense of compassion and responsibility, but you know, some of us have felt it all along, and didn't need to pop out a kid in order to develop a world view that went beyond our own selfish interests.
And in terms of dead celebrities... I mean yes, a person died and it's sad, perhaps even tragic because she could have lived a longer and happier life. But obscure people die every minute of every day... many of them with much more compelling and tragic stories, and nobody gives a rat's ass about their passing. Not only that, nobody cared enough to try to do something about the tragic circumstances while those obscure people were still alive!
The other day I was talking with CatMan. I had been pretty busy and hadn't turned on the news in a few days so when he mentioned that he had been reading the paper I asked him if anything noteworthy was going on in the world. His reply: "Well, Whitney Houston's still dead..."
THANK YOU for that "felt it all along" point. No, thank you for the whole thing, I love your comments.
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