People have told me, you have to stay where you can do the most good, where you can change people, not where people already have the same beliefs as you. But isn't it nice to be around people who believe as you do, and not have to fight all the time?
I'm done here. I'm done with the "big city". I need more quiet. I need open spaces. I need to be able to bury my hands in the warm Earth as I plant my garden. I need less horns and fewer helicopters and less entitled people. I need to be where people might hear my message and actually try to change, rather than people hearing it and knowing it but ignoring it because they are so wrapped up in themselves. Is it really "giving up", or just trying something different?
Are we running away, or running toward? I think, a little of each. It's OK to run away from noise and stank and self-absorption. It's OK to run to hard but rewarding work.
I didn't think I would ever want to leave palm trees and mild winters. But I'm ready. Everywhere I look now, I see ugliness. I try to see the pretty stuff still, but it's falling away quickly. My tolerance is slipping.
It's funny how priorities change as we age. I'm OK with it.
OK, got that out, now back to the everyday stupid stuff that makes me crazy.
Pinning your hopes on getting other people to change is sort of a losing proposition... my Ex did a real good job of teaching me that lesson! :~)
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, I think that simply living your own life with integrity is really the most meaningful thing you can do. Personally, I try to avoid the "real world" at all cost. And every time I have a brush with it I'm left wondering where we're going and why we're in this hand basket, if you know what I mean.
Don't know if you've ever read the book (or seen the film) "Never Cry Wolf". It's about a guy who is sent to Alaska (I think... maybe Canada)... anyhow, he's sent way up north to study wolves, and soon becomes deeply enmeshed in trying to protect them. There's a scene at the end where he's distraught because someone has poached one of the wolves he's been studying, and there's a bit of a jumble between good/bad/right/wrong. Meanwhile, winter is approaching and our hero has "gone rogue" and is in serious danger of becoming bear food. His Inuit friend says to him something like: "This thing that's happening... it's bigger than you are. Stop trying to save the wolves, and worry about saving yourself."
I know it sounds terrible and selfish, but I think it's really true. There are forces much bigger than us at work here, and at some point the most powerful statement you can make is to simply say "I'm not playing" and go take care of yourself.
So many people allow themselves to be talked into staying where they don't want to be. I admire your bravery and strength to stand up and say what you want, and then go get it. BRAVA!
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